22 Weeks, 6 Days…Still Corny on the Cob

Just a few updates…

I should have started taking Zofran AGES ago.  I thought I’d try to do the “non-medicine” thing and keep my system clear of anything that could harm baby, but that ship has sailed.  I’m not going to jinx it, but I’d like to meet the person who invented this wonderful medicine.  Keep working your magic!

My pregnancy pillow has arrived from Bump Nest!  Even though I didn’t get the polka dot pattern that I really wanted since they were out, I am very please with the Chevron pattern.  Rorschach is also interested in this pillow.  Mike saw it and said, “This is going to be like a third person sleeping with us!  That thing is massive!”  He clearly did not know what to expect when I explained it, even though I did send him a link.  Oh well!  The first night of sleeping with it was a good one!  I’m going to have to mess with it a bit, because my neck hurts a little – I’m not used to having such a firm pillow, so I know that has contributed.  But it’s as wonderful as I thought it would be!

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Now if only these terrible leg cramps would disappear!  I guess it is a pregnancy thing.  I wake up in the middle of the night and stretch out, thus pointing my toes.  WORST idea ever.  It never fails, because my right leg consistently cramps up, and I feel as though I have pulled a muscle.  I have to sit there and wait for it to go back to being normal.  WTF.  I have read that it could be dehydration.  Whatever.  I have to pee ALL THE TIME.  If I added more fluids, I would just take up permanent residency in the bathroom.   Also, I did read that it is normal to have leg cramps in the THIRD trimester, which is a club that I am not part of yet.  Seems like all of these symptoms are hitting me a trimester early, which is not cool.  Does that mean I’m going to be free and clear in trimester three and I’m suddenly going to love pregnancy?  DOUBT IT!

Despite what I think I should be eating, my body still craves food that is probably not the best for me.  Like yesterday for example.  My kind mother offered to bring me lunch to work so that I wouldn’t have to go out in the cold if I didn’t already have something.  I had some frozen lunches in the freezer, but did not want them (shocker).  I am the worst.  So I asked her for a cheeseburger, small fry, and small Coke from McDonald’s. A happy meal without the toy, if you will.  Pretty standard.  She comes in with a big cheeseburger from a local pancake house cafe, fries, chicken noodle soup, and what I’m pretty sure was Swanel (cheap-o generic Pepsi for cheap-o restaurants that don’t want to pay for the real thing).  Of course, I thanked her.  But in my head, I was defeated.  I just wanted a McDonald’s cheeseburger!  Baby wants what baby wants.  She told me that I shouldn’t be eating crap like McDonalds.  Ayayayaya.

Speaking of good/ bad food, I left early from work one day last week, as it was blizzarding outside.  A common occurrence when living in the Midwest (why the hell do we still live here?)  Visibility was zero, wind was insane, and I couldn’t see the lines on the expressway.  But all I could think about during the drive was how incredibly hungry I was.  There is a Taco Bell 5 minutes from our house.  Any normal person would have driven straight home after the scary drive I had.  Not me!  Taco Bell it is!  I didn’t care at that point, I figured I could slide my way home on the side streets if I had to.  Best pregnancy lunch ever.  This baby is probably going to be vegan or something insane after all of the terrible foods I am scarfing down.  I know what you’re thinking of the picture below.  “That is easily 2,000 calories on that plate”….and worth every single one of them!  I even took a nap afterwards.   VICTORY!

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21 Weeks, 5 Days – Bebe is the size of a Baby Bok Choy

First of all, I love my pregnancy app – Ovia.  It gives me updates daily on how I should be feeling, and what the baby is doing in there.  For example, today, Baby’s internal reproductive system is developing.  And also, it told me that I’m probably gaining weight at a more rapid pace (no shit) and may be experiencing some effects like fatigue or backache.  It also shows a picture of how big the baby’s hand is at this point in time compared to what it will be at 9 months.

Here’s what I hate about Ovia, and similar apps:  How they compare your baby to the size of fruits or vegetables that are so random.  Like, I don’t know how big a baby bok choy is…I don’t even know how big a normal bok choy is!  Why not compare the baby to menu items from Taco Bell?  “Baby is the size of a nacho cheese chalupa” or “Baby is now the size of a crunch box”…at least I can relate to those things.

So this morning was a good start to the new year.  As I was driving on the expressway, I realized that I forgot to put on both deodorant AND make up.  So that was cool.  Not that I’m trying to impress anyone at work (believe me), but I am wearing a new sweater today, so I’d rather not ruin it with nastiness.  Luckily, I’ve got a spare deodorant in my office.  But the face is a lost cause.  Oh well!  Pregnancy brain strikes again.

My goal for 2015 is no more vomiting.  I don’t know how doable that is, but I will try.

Someone asked me the other day if nesting has kicked in for me yet and if I had started organizing and cleaning everything.  I just laughed at this person and said no, not yet.  For Mike’s sake, I hope it does kick in eventually.  I threw a fit about taking down the ornaments and putting all the Christmas stuff away last night.  Why do we have to get this done immediately on January 1?  Not that I didn’t sit around the entire rest of the day, but I didn’t feel like putting things into boxes, etc. No fun!

My other goal for early this year is to start buttoning things up at work.  I am hopeful that I will not go into labor early, but I suppose I should be ready at any point to not come back.

I have also heard that you can get your insurance to pay for your breast pump, so I need to get on that.

I have been thinking more and more about when we put the house on the market this February.  Part of me hopes (selfishly) that it wouldn’t be worth it to put it on the market this year, and that we should wait another year.  If we do sell this year, I am afraid that it will be at the worst possible time.  Mike’s sister is getting married in May, and so for us to move into his parents’ house during that time of chaos, I think I would just rather not.  I don’t need the added stress, and I don’t think his parents do, either.  If we can hold off on selling until AFTER the wedding, like into the summer months, I would be a little more willing to move in with them.  Part of me also wants those 12 weeks just with the baby and I, in OUR house.  Not that I don’t love my in-laws or that they wouldn’t help me at all, it’s just me being selfish again.  I won’t get those first 12 weeks back, and I want them to be wonderful and comfortable for all of us.

I created a Target baby registry for us the other day, just to make it easier for when we actually go in and start scanning things.  I was looking at their “popular items” lists, and I honestly have no idea where we are going to start.  So many different options for a high chair, stroller, car seat…I should hire someone to research the best of everything.  Should be a test of our patience for sure 🙂  Also, all of the furniture that I like is either “out of stock” or “not available online or in stores”…WTF Target?!

Ultrasound tomorrow!  Let’s hope I don’t have the bitchy ultrasound tech, because I seem to not have a filter lately, and it won’t end well for either one of us.  Fingers crossed for a boy!  Now that I’ve said that, it will most definitely be a girl.  Mark my words.

Taco Bell, please.

So, I’ve been told that you crave what you are deficient in, nutritionally.  Looks like I’m deficient in Taco Bell!  Hell yeah.  It is pretty much all I can stomach right now.  How weird is that?  I mean, I’ve always liked Taco Bell, but only indulged on a drunk evening here and there in the past.  Now, it’s all I can think about leading up to lunch.  A nacho cheese chalupa, a cool ranch dorito taco, and now, they’ve created the ultimate taco…a cool ranch cheesy gordita crunch.  Stop me now.  “Elizabeth, I’m coming!”  ::grabs heart::   (ode to Sanford).

Tomorrow begins week 9 of this shit show that they call the first trimester.  Otherwise known as the third level of hell.  “It will get better!”   “Oh, I never had morning sickness!”   “You will be so happy because it’s so worth it in the end when you have your baby in your arms!”   Okay, everyone can SUCK IT.  Those things are the exact opposite of what I want to hear right now.  Even if you have to make up the fact that you had some type of morning sickness to make me feel better about myself, you should probably do that.  Otherwise, there is a good chance we aren’t going to be on speaking terms much longer.

My sister-in-law sent me an email about going to get sized up for my bridesmaid dress by Thanksgiving.  I can’t wait to have that conversation with David’s Bridal.   “Um, yeah, so I’m going to be due right around the wedding date.  So I’m either going to be super huge fatty, or still huge fatty, but not as super.  What can you do for me?  Should I just buy two dresses and hope for the best?”   “No, the bride doesn’t know this information yet, so don’t mention anything about my dress size being a 35, please”

I’ve basically stopped caring about my job, in general.  I have all of these piles all over my desk.  I used to want to organize and condense.  Then, I realized that the woman who works directly under me is getting paid overtime to basically check her personal emails during work.  Since I am salary, I do not get OT.  At first, I got mad.  But now, I’ve decided to get even (plug First Wives Club).  I get to work as close to 9 a.m. as possible, and I am out the door at 5:01 p.m.   And I’m taking my full hour lunch now.  None of this “oh I am going to work through my lunch because there is just so much to do” business.  It’s a good feeling, that not caring.  Less stress for me, less stress for bebay!

My first doctor’s appointment is Monday.  I’m terrified because they might take blood from me, which is not cool.  Last time we tried that, I was so dehydrated that the blood wouldn’t flow fast enough into the little tube.  We would have been there for hours if the nurse didn’t make me chug a bottle of water.  Of course, I am also worried since I really want to hear the bebay’s heartbeat.  I’d feel much better knowing that something living in me was causing all of this pain and suffering.  Anyhow, I have many important questions for my doctor – they pretty much all have to do with food.  I have read in random places that I cannot eat certain things, but they are all things that I love, so I am hoping she will say the famous, “anything in moderation”….such as:   ‘Can I eat fried hot dogs?’  (this is a biggie for a certain vacation I’m going on soon), and ‘Can I please eat a sandwich?  Just one?!’   Clearly, my OBGYN will know where my priorities are.

I just have a feeling that I’m not going to be one of those “glowing” pregnant ladies who you can’t tell is pregnant from behind.  Oh well, hubby is out getting me Taco Bell right now.  You win some, you lose some 😉