Preschool Open House Shit Show

I’m writing this about a year later because I don’t want to forget how great this story is.

I remember it vividly.  It was orientation for Kenzie’s first year of preschool.  It was a Wednesday evening.  My husband and I both worked full days while the girls were at Mary’s.  We got Noodles & Company for dinner and went to my mom’s to eat (she lives very close to the preschool/ my work/ Mary’s house).  We had about 45 minutes to eat and head to her school (I wanted to get there a little early).

I knew Kenzie was going to be shy.  I was prepared for that.  But I was not prepared for what would happen next.

They have you in this holding area in the basement before they open the doors to let you in.  Picture this:  Families with their kids (and babies) all scrunched into a hallway/ stairs waiting to get in.  My anxiety was already up there, but that did me in.

They finally let us in, and they explain where each class should go (they have both 3 year old and 4 year old classes).  We got in line for our class.  Kenzie was very shy and quiet, just watching all the action around her.  I was kind of doing the same.

They then let us into what would eventually be her classroom.  There were twenty children total in her class, so picture that plus all the moms and dads and some siblings, just to keep it interesting.

There came a time when the teacher asked all of the kids to sit on the carpet in the middle of the class and the parents to stand in the back while she went over a few things about the processes and what to expect for the coming year.

Kenzie sat down (against her will) and my husband and I stood on the other side.  The teacher started talking and Kenzie started to stand up.  I looked at her and motioned for her to sit her butt down.  She started to cry.  I went over to her and she starts to say, “I have to go pee pee” and then it happened.  SHE STARTED PEEING.  Right on the floor.  I picked her up as fast as I could.  She was also wearing a dress, so the pee was just coming out at an alarming rate.  That’s when I remembered that we never took her to go potty before we left my mom’s.  She drank an entire mini chocolate milk jug before we left.  FANTASTIC.  I could have avoided this.

So after I picked her up, I started sprinting for the door.  Pee is dripping all over me at this point.  I leave Mike behind to clean everything.  The whole time this is happening, the teacher doesn’t even flinch and none of the parents even move.  It was amazing.  It’s probably better that way, but holy shit was it embarrassing.  I walked out and since I had never been there before, I didn’t know where the restrooms were.  Of course, I walked the wrong way (she’s still peeing at this point).  My heart was pounding, I was sweating, and I’m pretty sure my legs were jello.

Found the bathrooms finally.  She had finished peeing by this time, but I still put her on the potty just in case.  [She was potty trained, by the way.]  Just another mom fail!  Magically, I had an extra pair of her underwear in my purse (I know, it’s like I knew this shit was going to happen).  So I was able to change her underwear and then her dress really wasn’t too bad since it was instead all over my outfit (YEAH!!!).  By the time we were done cleaning up, I walked her back into the room and the carpet time discussion was over.  Not a clue what we missed.  Mike was just putting back some cleaning spray and paper towels.  Thank God he was there, he cleaned up the giant puddle she left behind.

And then I took a deep breath and tried to recoup what was left of the evening so that we weren’t at a total loss.  Kenzie went and played at a table with a some intertwining flowers and puzzles and met her teachers.  At least they wouldn’t soon forget who she was.  Ah yes, the girl who peed everywhere on orientation night!

And over a year later, and she hasn’t had any potty accidents since then.  And now I’ve jinxed it.  Just wait for the next post 😉