Status Quo

If possible, I have turned into more of a raging bitch since my post yesterday.  I don’t think I was ever like this through any PMS episodes.  Good Lord.

Oddly enough, I didn’t have any road rage or anything, but the littlest things have been bothering me (mostly people and their dumb comments and stupid actions).

I went to bed a little early last night in hopes of regaining some lost sleep.  WRONG.  Dear husband came to bed and flipped on the TV just as I was falling asleep, which sent me into a rage.  “You realize you aren’t going to be able to have the TV on when baby girl is sleeping in here, right?”   And his responses just fueled the fire.  And then I start thinking about his sister’s wedding, which is on May 24.  I am due May 10.  I didn’t realize that if breastfeeding DOES work out, that I will be needing to feed her every couple of hours, and that you generally don’t introduce a bottle until a few months in (unless you start with formula from the get-go).  And who knows that I would even be able to pump enough that early on to feed her for the whole day.

So I’m laying in bed, FUMING, thinking about how we will probably need to get a hotel room for my mom at the wedding so that I can go back and forth when baby girl needs to be fed, since the wedding is not close to our house, and we are both standing up in the wedding.  UGH.  Also thinking about the rehearsal dinner the night before, and if we should also get a hotel room that night.  I tell Mike my concerns, and he thinks that I am getting worked up over nothing and stressing myself out.   He is probably correct to an extent, but we really DO have to think about how this is all going to go down since we both HAVE to be there.  Thinking about it all just makes me want to cry.  I don’t want any of our first few weeks with baby girl to be made into a stressful situation for no reason.  I want to be able to enjoy every moment we have with her, whether or not she is crying her eyes out or not.

And then I woke up every hour on the hour last night with terrible heartburn.

Baby Girl:  If you are listening, please please please come sooner, rather than later.

I know no one really wishes for labor to come on sooner than predicted, but I am just no good at being pregnant.  It’s turning me into a first class bitch and a Negative Nancy overall.  I’m sure Mike has had enough of it, too, but he treads lightly for some kind reason.  This morning, he said, “You look like you need a hug” – so he gave me a nice hug and I almost burst into tears.  HORMONES!!!!

We also have a family wedding on May 15.  Neither of us are standing up in it, so Mike thinks we’ll still be able to go, no problem.  Hahahahaha!   He kills me.

Here’s to hoping that people are less ass-hat like today.  Until then, I will listen to Jimmy Eat World radio on Pandora, and louder than normal, because I no longer care who I bother.

And more than anything right now, I want a sub from Mr. Submarine.

Advertisements

Let the Anger Ensue – 33 Weeks & 1 Day

I am in the foulest of moods today.  Not sure why.  Maybe because it’s snowing and it is March 23.  Maybe because I can no longer get decent sleep.  Maybe because everyone sucks.  Maybe because I feel like the size of a house.  Maybe because the pain in my ribs and back has actually, somehow gotten worse. Baths aren’t even helpful anymore. Or maybe it’s just hormones.  I am ready to explode and take everyone with me.

And if I hear the song “All About That Bass” one more time on my co-worker’s computer radio station, I will lose it.  She is an older woman, and someone thought it would be a good idea to introduce her to internet radio.  Even though I am in an office, she is still close enough where I hear “Baby Got Back” and “Blurred Lines” and other random rap songs.  WTF.  Yes, I have Pandora on my own computer, but I play my music at a reasonable volume (thanks, Milton).  So I do that, and try not to piss anyone off, and I still hear this shit music coming from the common area.  So disheartening.

On a lighter note, baby girl only has 7 weeks left to kick me from the inside.  Then, she can start kicking me on the outside and screaming.  She is the size of a cauliflower blossom.  My Ovia app says, “Baby doesn’t have much room to kick anymore, so movements should be less violent (ha!)”  LIES!  I think the movements have been more violent, if anything.

I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday.  I’m curious to see how much she weighs.  I have to remember to ask when my next ultrasound will be so that I can get updated measurements.  I keep wanting to buy little dresses, but I don’t know if she’ll be bigger than newborn size when she pops out (lots of babies skip that size, I guess).

I think I am stressing because time is suddenly moving MUCH faster than I remember.  And we have NOTHING ready aside from clearing a shelf off on our linen closet and dedicating it to diapers and rash cream.  I guess maybe I am getting a little of the nesting thing kicking in.  But it’s just making me more mad because we have NOTHING ready.  Ugh.  And it doesn’t help that we have plans every single weekend leading up to baby girl’s arrival.  I hate that.  All I want to do is sit at home, read my baby books, watch the First Wives Club and other sweet 90s movies while I can, and enjoy the remaining time I have.  But no.

We went to Destination Maternity yesterday to buy me a dress for the baby shower.  I ended up buying two, since Easter is also going to be another event that I forgot about.  I could do without Easter this year (go ahead, hate on me).  I wonder if I will be able to wear heels for both events.  Easter brunch will be a lot of sitting, which is good on my feet, but bad on my back.  Baby shower will be a lot of up and down saying hi to everyone.  Might bring my slippers for when things get too intense!  🙂

Dresses below.  Can’t really tell with the white dress, but it is white and pink striped.

EMPIRE DRESS POLKA DOT

24 weeks, 1 day – Bébé is Size of an Eggplant – and some notes on maternity leave…

So, our dog has an eggplant stuffed toy.  I know, it’s weird.  But it came from his monthly subscription to BarkBox, and he loves it.  By the way, if you have a puppy, definitely try out BarkBox – even if only for one month!  Your pup gets his/ or her own box, depending on their size, and the toys and treats usually have a theme.  So cute.  If you order a plan before January 31, use the promo code OMEGASAMIGOS for 10% off your BarkBox AND a $10 credit to The BarkBox Shop (you can buy the things your pup gets in the box if they really love it!).

So now, all I can picture is our dog carrying around our baby in his mouth, like he does his eggplant toy.  Nice, right?

This past week has been a good one.  No sickness!  YEAH!   Hoping I didn’t just jinx it.  That is usually what happens.

What I’ve gathered from friends and blogs, is that women are susceptible to becoming very emotional while pregnant.  Hormones are crazy, and the outcome seems to be disastrous for everyone involved.    Mostly what I hear, though, is that these women are mostly triggered by something that then makes them cry.  Whether it be a commercial, a song, or a smell.  And then they just start randomly crying.    It is pretty much the opposite for me, and I’m worried it is probably not normal.  I get angry at EVERYTHING now.  I hate EVERYONE (not really, but people really test my patience these days).  We were watching How I Met Your Mother the other day, and I just couldn’t believe the hatred that I had suddenly formed for Ted and Robin.  Hate hate hate.  My husband thinks I’m a loon for sure.  I get annoyed by pretty much anything.  It’s like PMS times 100.  No tears, though.

Italian ice seems to help though.  I had a really rough day dealing with your everyday family drama (thank god I married into a normal family), and I thought I was going to explode when I got home.  Instead of erupting on Mike, he suggested that I stop for some Italian ice on my way home.  It’s my new craving/ addiction.  So I did.  Not only did I get banana Italian ice (AMAZING – it tastes like banana runts!), but I also got a salted chocolate pretzel ice cream, a chocolate coconut cupcake, and my staple – nachos and extra jalapenos.   So I just eat my emotions now when I’m feeling angry now.  But look out if there isn’t any good food around.  That’s healthy, right?

Random Symptoms:   My belly itches like I have chicken pox.  I know it is because my skin is stretching, so I have invested in sweet almond oil, per a few recommendations.  It’s supposed to be good for preventing stretch marks.  I am all about that, so I am on board.

Fat Things:  I know – so many girls take super cute photos every week to show progress with a cute little chalkboard to note all of the fun things about pregnancy.  I always forget, and when I do remember, I usually look like crap.  But at least I’m not being fake!  I’m not going to dress up to take a photo and pretend like pregnancy is the best thing since sliced bread.  So this is what you get 🙂   Take it or leave it   🙂

24 weeks

Cute Things:   We were going through our DVR recordings and I noticed that Frozen was recorded and looked at Mike, because I certainly had not taped it (the song makes me want to pull out my hair).  Mike said, “I taped it for our daughter”….that was the one time I almost cried, but I laughed instead because of the way he said it.  Super cute.  He’s thinking about our daughter already.  Love love love.   Oh yes, WE ARE HAVING A GIRL!   🙂   I think I have told pretty much all the family, so I can gush about her on here now.  Totally knew it was a girl the whole time.  Glad I was right!

Maternity Leave:  I love that we have certain freedoms in the United States that other countries do not benefit from.  But I fucking hate how maternity leave is viewed and dealt with by employers and even men in general.  So many other countries offer months of paid maternity leave, to both mother AND father.  Here, not so much.   You would think for government entities, that the maternity leave would be one of the better plans and that SOMETHING would be paid for.  NOPE.  I’m allowed to take the full 12 weeks per FMLA standards, but if I want to get paid for it, I will have to use my vacation time, sick time, and comp time until it runs out.  For any days after that, I would be getting paid nothing.   I’m not going to keep ranting about it, I am just going to leave you with what an official told me during my pre-maternity leave meeting:

“Don’t worry, everyone loves you here.  You do a great job.  You’re not going anywhere.”

I told my husband this, and he thought it was a nice compliment.  Of course he would.

Does anyone else see how that could be viewed as borderline questionable?  He’s basically saying, “Don’t worry, we aren’t going to get rid of you just because you decided to start a family.”   What the fuck?

I am not the one who needs reassurance.  He should need reassurance that I even plan to come back to this circus after my twelve weeks.