Early Riser/ Why I Hate Parks.

Just a little break from Maddy’s birth story.  And because I actually got some hard earned sleep last night.

Maddy had a rough afternoon yesterday.  It seems like her tummy was bothering her, but she’d still flash me smiles every now and then, so I knew she was all good.   We took her and Kenzie to the park last night.  You can’t just go for a walk with Kenzie without ending up at the park.  I’ve tried.  You start walking in the opposite direction, and she will stop, point in the direction of one of the two parks near our house, and say, “NO, PARK!”

Well, I hate the park.  Back in May, she fell from a pretty high opening on the playground.  It was a good 4 foot fall, and she fell on her head/ neck.  WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE.  Mike and I were both there.  We usually follow her up on the jungle gym, but this particular day, she decided she was going to just go down the slide 20 times.  Mike sat down with me since I had Maddy while we watched her play.  Of course, after she walked up the steps, she looked over at us, decided to do a little dance/ jump, lost her balance, and flew right off of the platform.  Let me ask this.  WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE GIANT OPENINGS THAT LEAD TO NOWHERE ON PLAYGROUND PLATFORMS?  This platform was 4 feet high, and it looked like they  could have been connected to monkey bars at some point.   It’s like they are asking for a disaster.

We were very lucky, because she did not lose consciousness.  She also had no blood, just a few scrapes from the wood chips that she landed on.  We ran home so we could clean her up and check her head.  I gave her a cookie to occupy her while I tried to wash off her wounds.  She took a bite of the cookie, cried, and then spit it out.  Now I was concerned that she chipped a tooth or something.  GREAT.  Got her all cleaned up while Maddy was screaming in the background.  She was still pretty out of sorts.  Mike hung out with her while I called the nurse triage line at the hospital to see if we needed to take her into the ER.  THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPENS ON THE WEEKENDS.  Seriously, you’ll find that your kids most often get sick or hurt on the weekends, when your doctor is not available.  So you’re always second guessing yourself…do I go to the ER?  Do I go to urgent care?

They told me that since her fall was less than 5 feet (I almost had to go back to the park to measure because I wasn’t quite sure, and you don’t want to be wrong about something like that), she wouldn’t need to go to the ER.  Just need to monitor her for any weird signs, make sure she doesn’t pass out, etc.  Luckily, we had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for that next week for a follow up, so they would check out her pretty little head then.  After her good nap, and me checking up on her pretty frequently, she woke up and ate her Mac & Cheese and a cookie with no problem.  Then, she started running around the table and jumping on the couch.  I was thrilled that she was acting like her normal, insane self, but it also concerned me that with our luck, she would go flying off the couch and another injury would ensue.  No thanks.  So I think I bribed her with another cookie or playing on the iPad.  Don’t judge me until you have two kids.  I always said, “my kids will never play on electronics like iPads or watch TV”….hahahaha, I was so dumb.  But we’ll save that for another post.

This post turned into why I hate the park, when it was supposed to be about how I actually got a decent night’s sleep.  Anyhow, we took both girls to the park that evening and Kenzie had a great time.  We had to bribe her to leave.  Ice cream, this time.  But Maddy was losing her shit as we started the walk home.  It’s a few blocks from our house.  So I ran with the stroller (something you’ll never see me doing, because who has time for exercise…), but it didn’t seem to help.  So I took her out and walked with her, which was much better for her (try steering a dumb stroller through a winding path with a 4 month old kicking you).

Kenzie went to bed around 9 that night – no fussing, no fighting.  Maddy went down around 10 p.m., which wasn’t so bad.  I expected to be woken up around 2 or 3, as per usual.  Well guess who waltzed into our room at 3?  Kenzie P!   Hahaha, I was so thrilled when I heard her little footsteps making their way to our room.  I kicked Mike.  Then I shoved him.  “Hey, your daughter is awake”…..he made it very clear that once Maddy was born, he would be on Kenzie duty at night.  I agreed.   Kenzie has been sleeping through the night since before we had Maddy, of course.  So this deal basically meant that Mike never had to wake up.  Cool.  Until now.  At 3 a.m.   SUCKER.

I went right back to sleep.  And guess what?  Maddy didn’t wake up once that night.  You must be wondering if Kenzie went back to bed after she woke up Mike at 3.  NOPE!  Girlfriend stayed awake until I woke up with Maddy at 7.  Mike had a look of pure exhaustion on his face.  I just smiled.  Kenzie proceeded to fall asleep on the ride to her babysitter’s house, though.  It was a nice, quiet ride in.

Long story short, Maddy is a MUCH better sleeper than Kenzie ever was at her age.  I know the size is a big factor, but I deserve this after over a year of crazy nights with Kenzie.  Loved those nights with my girl, but mama needs her rest so she doesn’t go postal at work.

Potty Training with Miss Kenzie

Oh man, what a fun evening we had.

My original plan was to start potty training fast and furious during my maternity leave.  Things got a little busy/ crazy with two kids, so that never ended up being a priority.

I got home Thursday and noticed that Kenzie had a bit of a rash on her bottom, so I decided to let her soak a little longer in the bathtub.  I also thought, “This would be a great opportunity to start using her big girl undies!”  So, rather than put a night time diaper on her and not let the rash breathe, I put on her Minnie Mouse undies.  I talked to her about it, and explained that she needed to let mama or dada know when she needed to potty, and we would take her up to her pretty potty.

She has already gone potty on it a few times, so she knows the drill.  She enjoys playing with her potty more than using it, though.  For example, she will place her bear on the potty seat and say, “Bear going potty”….so she totally gets it, but she just isn’t interested in using it herself.

So I bring Kenzie downstairs, and Mike says, “This is a terrible idea, I don’t like it”….I told him just not to let her sit on the couch or anything.  Easy enough, right?  So I go upstairs to start running Maddy’s bath.  [I feel all that I do after getting home from work is change diapers, clean up toys, bathe the kids, and feed them constantly].   I realize all of Maddy’s diapers are downstairs, so I run down to grab one.  I notice that Kenzie is sitting on Mike’s lap and he is combing her hair (she won’t let me do it – everything I try to do gets a “Dada Do!!”  She hates me already!).

As I walk by, I say, “Wow, you’re brave” and continued on upstairs to get Maddy ready for her bath.  Before I can even get Maddy to the tub, I hear Mike scream, “AHHH!!!”  And then I just waited.  He ran up the stairs holding Kenzie out like she had some type of disease.  I took her and asked what was wrong, just to be funny.  He was clearly pissed (no pun intended).

You guys, she seriously had the smallest amount of pee on her nightgown.  Mike claims that was because it all leaked out onto him.  He had already run to change his shorts.  HILARIOUS.  After he changed and I cleaned up Kenzie, he said, “We’re not doing that anymore” in a super pissed off/ attitudey kind of voice…and then I asked him what his suggestion was for potty training.  “She’ll just tell us when she has to go, and then we’ll take her to the potty”….HAHAHAHA.   Well, maybe when she’s 4 she can do that.

Looks like I’m going to have to do the potty training while he is not home!   Not like I have anything else to do.

33 Weeks and 4 Days

After I showered this morning, I looked down and thought the following things:

(1)  Shit, I should really shave my legs soon.  This will be embarrassing if I go into labor.

(2)  Shit, I really need to schedule a bikini wax.  This will be embarrassing if I go into labor.

A few things happened during my first labor and delivery.  I was lucky, you could say.  The day my water broke, I was at a bridal shower for my sister-in-law.  It was April, so I was wearing a cute wrap dress and heels.  I was required to look nice, so I had just shaved my legs that morning, straightened my hair, and even did my nails.

I had also started on my every-few-week bikini waxes.  Really, just another excuse to go to the spa and get something else done.  So I got my bikini wax the Thursday before I went into labor.  Again, perfect timing.  Even though I didn’t know in advance that I would end up having to get an episiotomy, I was lucky with that, too (in my opinion).  I feel like the less going on down there, the better off you are when someone is trying to stitch up your lady parts.

My fear is that this time, everything will be the opposite.  Meaning I might actually feel the contractions before my water breaks (if it breaks at all prematurely), that I will have put off shaving my legs too long, or that I will have missed my bikini wax appointment.  I know – some of these things are stupid, but I think I took them for granted last time because everything just worked out so well!

The good news is that the chances of my water breaking early are higher because it has already happened to me.  As long as I have time to get that epidural in, I will be okay.  That is the part that scares me the most, honestly.  How can it ever get easier to let someone insert a needle into your spine without moving a muscle?

I also asked my doctor if I would end up needing another episiotomy this time around.  The recovery sucked big time (again, in my experience, the recovery was worse than the actual labor and delivery process for sure).  She said it would be very unlikely that I would need to get cut again, because my body “knows what to do” this time around, and as such, labor shouldn’t last as long (so she says).

I was in the hospital last week for dehydration and contractions (I will save the details for a different post), but they ended up doing a bedside ultrasound to check on baby.  This was nice because I didn’t get to have one that late in the game for my first because she was so early.  Anyhow, the ultrasound tech showed me the kid already has two centimeters of hair on his or her head.  THANKS FOR THE HEARTBURN!  Oh well, at least we won’t have a bald baby 🙂

WE COULD HAVE BABY #2 IN TWO WEEKS!  YIKES!

 

 

Down with the Sickness

Alright, so I have always hated people who come to work knowing that they are sick.  Hacking up a lung and sneezing on everything in the office.  They try to be rock stars. But in actuality, they are ASSHOLES.  Maybe they love work too much.  Work might be their escape from home.  Maybe they don’t want to waste their sick days on actually being sick in bed.  Saving them for a beach day.  Who knows.  Either way – screw them all.

I am sick again.  This is probably the 4th or 5th time this winter so far.  AND I AM PISSED.  It’s like I’m on two weeks/ off two weeks.  I know my immune system is shot from being pregnant, but COME ON.  I wash my hands and use sanitizer often.  I try to get as much sleep as possible and even nap on the weekends.  I eat good (mostly).  I take vitamins.  I diffuse thieves and purification at home (my husband is now more convinced than ever that oils/ “potions” are a joke, since our sicknesses have not been subsiding).  What the hell else am I supposed to do?  ::sidenote::  elderberry juice is next on my list of things to try to keep my immunity up.  If you’ve tried it/ use it, please let me know your thoughts.

The thing that really pisses me off is that these people who come to work sick and hacking up a lung actually have sick/ vacation days that they can use.  But they choose not to.  Because they want to infect everyone.  And they are not pregnant. And they don’t have young kids to worry about.

I am in a position where my employer does NOT offer paid maternity leave.  I get the 12 weeks of unpaid FMLA so that they have to hold my job, but that is all.  Therefore, I have to save every last sick/ vacation day that I can so that I can use all of it during the first few weeks of maternity leave so I can get paid SOMETHING.  And then, when I do go back to work after my 12 week “vacation”, I will have little to no sick/ vacation time left.  But never fear, kids under the age of 3 never get sick, right?   So I won’t need that time.  I’m sure my husband will be cool with taking a day off here and there to take the kids to the doctor or whatever.  NOT.  So I try to be here even when I am sick, because I don’t want to can’t waste my days (for a good enough reason).

And my final rant about health issues:  Urgent Care VS seeing your actual doctor.  My husband finally admitted defeat and asked me to make him a doctor’s appointment with his doctor.  He has had a cold on and off for about two months now.  He did go to urgent care about a month ago, and the nurse practitioner put him on the same antibiotic that my daughter was on for her ear infection.  I should have told him up front to ask for a z-pac instead of amox.  But then he would have called me a druggie.

Fast forward to last week, when he complains that he still has this lingering sore throat.  I’ll save my “man sick vs. woman sick” for another day.  But in this case, I told him he needs to make an appointment with his real doctor.  So today, he must have been annoyed enough with his throat to ask me to call for him.

Today is Tuesday, January 24.  The earliest they have to see even a NURSE PRACTITIONER available for a sick appointment at his doctor’s office is Thursday, February 2.  WHAT THE FUCK?  What is the point?  That must be why we are surrounded by so many urgent care facilities that are collecting tons of money and misdiagnosing half of the time.  Because it’s easier, more convenient, and they will even have the medicine you need on hand there so you won’t even have to wait for over an hour at shitty Osco (another post for this too at a later date).  It sickens me.  Don’t most doctor’s offices try to keep daily appointments open for those who are sick?  I know Kenzie’s pediatrician does, which gives me tremendous piece of mind knowing that I can take the morning off and will be able to get in that same day, and possibly be able to return to work for the afternoon depending on her diagnosis.  I just think it’s shitty, and it gives my husband one more reason to not want to schedule visits in the future – guaranteed this will be on his list of excuses “they won’t be able to get me in for weeks”

Needless to say, I will be on the look out for a new family practice doctor for both of us in the near future.  I am lucky, since I see my OB every week.  If I have a problem or sinus infection or flu, she will address it and prescribe medicine if necessary instead of telling me to go to another doctor or urgent care.  But that convenience will go away once I have the baby, of course, other than my annual and follow ups.

End rant.  Sorry guys 🙂

Gestational Diabetes

Got the call Saturday to confirm from my doctor that I DO NOT have gestational diabetes (duh).  After three days of separate blood draws after 8 hours fasts, my glucose levels came back as follows:  74, 75, 75.  The normal range is between 70 and 100.  YEAH!  Not even close to the problem zone.

The nurses working in the lab told me how lucky I was that my doctor allowed me to check for GD this way.  Many of the doctors will make you take the one hour test again, or at minimum the three hour test.  NO THANKS.  I know what my body can handle, and I think my doctor realized this, seeing as this was the second pregnancy with the same reaction to the Glucola drink of death.  What I wish I had known in the past is that you can pretty much turn down any test that they want you to take.  It is your body.  Your baby.  If you don’t want to know if there are any birth defects, etc, that is your right.  It obviously would not change the fact that some would still proceed with the pregnancy.

Someone just asked me my due date at work.  I told them April 2.   The lady replied with, “So that means you could really go as early as March 2 if this pregnancy is similar to Kenzie’s, right?”    YIKES.  So yes, it could be less than two months before we have two children under two in our house.  What the fuck were we thinking?

To make things even more fun and exciting, we are going to start potty training our 20 month old.  Because what sounds like more fun than that while 7 months pregnant? I just cannot fathom having two in diapers.   What’s worse is that my husband doesn’t get it.  I think he believes that if we talk to her enough about it, she will just walk over to her little princess potty and pop a squat.  Uh, no.

I explained to him that starting this weekend, she would be walking around without pants or a diaper on.  His response:  I already had to potty train Rory (our dog) like that, I’m not doing that with a human.  We have to be 100% on board with this training method.  Realistically, we should do it when we have a 3 or 4 day weekend.  The good thing is that our babysitter will be on board whenever we are ready to start, so we will have that support too.

I already told him I would be cleaning up the messes out of the potty training potty because it grosses him out.  It’s funny, because he loves cleaning so much.  But when it comes to that stuff, no thanks.  He once accidentally dropped his razor into the toilet, because our cabinet is directly above the toilet (way to plan that).  He wouldn’t get it!  He made me do it.  There was nothing in the toilet, either – just clean water (I know, there are still germs in there, but grow up, man!)   If I wasn’t home, he would have fished it out with a hanger or something, and then thrown everything away (it was a brand new razor – he is insane).

And one more win for momma:  I got my husband to buy a recliner/ rocker.  A crucial component to new motherhood if you are breastfeeding.  I wish I had known ahead of time how important it would have been.  I thought I was doing us a favor and saving us some money.  In the long run, my posture and back suffered BIG TIME.  It’s hard to nurse a tiny little human when you are sitting on a bed or a deep sectional couch.  I felt like the hunchback of Notre Dame after a few months.  And NO, the Boppy did not help me at all.  Maybe my torso is too long/ too short?  Maybe my arms or shoulders weren’t strong enough for feeding on demand CONSTANTLY?  I really don’t know what it was, but I do know that a rocker/ recliner would have solved a lot of my issues with baby #1.  Looking forward to sitting on the rocker and watching Everybody Loves Raymond reruns in the middle of the night with baby #2.  I might even be able to fall asleep in that fancy chair!

 

My Fellow Americans

“There was only one assassination attempt on me.  You had three” – from one of my very favorite movies – My Fellow Americans.  Politics will always be politics.  I will always be excited for election day and watching the votes as they come in, state by state.  Especially local elections, obviously.  Probably because I’ve always wanted to run for office, or because I’ve worked in local government.

I refuse to post on Facebook about the election, so I will take to my blog in an effort to vent about the morons on Facebook.  I swear it was better when social media didn’t exist.  People are seriously ready to jump off bridges.  To me, it is comical.  I read a few posts late last night and early this morning, and it just kills me how dramatic everyone is being.

“I am so glad that I don’t have kids.  It’s going to be a challenge to raise them in the next four years”

“I am crying right now because I am worried about my children’s futures”

“Is this really happening right now?”

“What a sad day for the world”

And my personal favorite, from someone in the office today, “I’m just worried that we’re going to get nuked”

GROW THE FUCK UP, PEOPLE.

Guess what?  It’s going to be a challenge to raise your kid no matter who is in office.  BECAUSE YOU ARE THEIR PARENT.  Hardest job in the world.  But that’s no reason to not have kids.  Things could always be worse.  We don’t live in a third world country where food and clean water is unavailable to us.  Our kids’ futures are what we as parents put into them.  I can tell you that President Obama did not help me at all with baby #1 or how I have raised her up to this point, and none of his policies burdened/ benefited my family in the process.  Unless you want to count the fact that paid FMLA is still not mandated, in which case, every president has sucked up to this point.  Although I can appreciate that he recently signed a law mandating changing tables in BOTH men’s and women’s restrooms alike.  That will benefit moms and dads everywhere.  Other than that – no impact. Business as usual.

Guess what?  The entire U.S. is not automatically considered racist because Trump was elected.  Evidently, the majority of this country wants change.  SHOCKER.  There are other reasons people voted for Trump, and I’m sure the majority of people didn’t do so in hopes of a wall going up or demeaning women.  But they probably agreed with some of his other views, which would directly impact their family for the better, and voted for him.

Let’s try to stay positive and realize that we are not doomed for the next four years.

Everything is going to be okay.    And if it’s not, we will unify and work through it together, like we always do.  Because that is the beauty of living in America.

“Hail to the chief, if you don’t, I’ll have to kill you. I am the chief, so you better watch your step, you bastards.”

 

 

Today, I am thankful for my job.

*Note – this was written a few weeks ago*

I bitch about my job a lot.  A LOT.  I generally have to deal with a lot of dumb people (both from the public side and people who work here), and a lot of drama.

But during and after pregnancy, I probably couldn’t ask for a better or more flexible job.

And let’s talk health insurance for a brief moment.  I had heard horror stories about how expensive it could be to have a baby in a hospital, even with the proper health insurance.  As in even after insurance coverage, you own hundreds, sometimes thousands.  I was preparing myself for the worst.  I had learned tricks about how you can call and ask for a discount if you pay for everything in one big payment.  Ugh.  I even prepared Mike for it.

After our fancy hospital stay (I really enjoyed it actually, aside from the lack of sleep), we got our first bill.  I assumed it was just for Kenzie or just a small part of it all.  Total amount due was $14.  Or maybe less.  I can’t really remember.  But it was for both mine and my daughter’s stay at the hospital.  Labor, delivery, hanging out for two days after in the mother baby wing…  I kept waiting for another bill to come, but it did not.  Insurance covered nearly everything.  So basically, I can never get another job until I am done having kids.  Or getting sick.   Government insurance is the best insurance.  Pay isn’t the best, but the benefits will always be worth it.  We even get a $1,000 Benny card.  You can use this card to pay for prescriptions, co-pays, or even (in my case) breast pumps!  YEAH!

Insurance details aside, I have had two rough pregnancies (so far).  Lots of nausea, lots of puking, lots of tears.  When you are feeling that sick, it’s really hard to stay motivated, no matter what your job is.  I am blessed to have an office with a door, a parking space that is incredibly close to the entrance, and a boss who is flexible with my schedule and understanding.  Things could be a lot worse for me.  There were times during my pregnancy with Kenzie when I got so sick at work that all I could do was sit in the conference room with my head on the table in the dark.  Or all I could do was sit on the ground of my office pretending to file things or read through papers.   But I got through it, and no one questioned me.  So I have to remember that.

And now, I have the luxury of leaving the office at lunch whenever I want, and spending an hour with my daughter at the babysitter’s or taking her to the park, and picking her up right at 5 p.m.   Never have to worry about overtime, or getting calls while I’m at home.

And finally, a prime example this week of why I appreciate this flexible, shitty job.

Kenzie had a fever starting on Monday.  I stayed home with her on Tuesday and brought her to the doctor.  The doctor said she believed it was the start of Hand, Foot, Mouth disease.  The only indicator was that when she looked in her mouth, she thought she saw a few blister-like things.  Plus the fever, and her lack of appetite (because maybe her throat hurt).  I ask what we can do or what medicine we can give her.  “You just have to wait it out, you can give her Tylenol for the fever.  Usually takes 3 to 5 days to run its course”….FANTASTIC.

Anyhow, I’m still not certain it was in fact hand, foot, mouth (which by the way never existed when we were kids to my knowledge, so where are these viruses coming from?!).  She doesn’t have anything on her hands, feet, or booty (no rash or anything).  Maybe we just got lucky with a very mild case or it is just a random virus.  Either way, I was able to take off Tuesday and Wednesday (very last minute) to take care of baby girl, since you cannot send her to the babysitter with an infection that could be spread to others.  My mom came over Thursday so I could go back to work, and Mike is taking off Friday.  I always get stuck taking more time off, but we will chalk it up to the fact that his job is a little more demanding than mine.  Whatever.  I’d rather be home anyhow.  BUT, I really should be saving my time now for the next baby.  Needless to say, I will be working from home more than I had to with Kenzie.

So yes, my job blows sometimes, but today, I will take it and remember that it will be worth it in the long run.  If only they had paid maternity leave.