33 Weeks and 4 Days

After I showered this morning, I looked down and thought the following things:

(1)  Shit, I should really shave my legs soon.  This will be embarrassing if I go into labor.

(2)  Shit, I really need to schedule a bikini wax.  This will be embarrassing if I go into labor.

A few things happened during my first labor and delivery.  I was lucky, you could say.  The day my water broke, I was at a bridal shower for my sister-in-law.  It was April, so I was wearing a cute wrap dress and heels.  I was required to look nice, so I had just shaved my legs that morning, straightened my hair, and even did my nails.

I had also started on my every-few-week bikini waxes.  Really, just another excuse to go to the spa and get something else done.  So I got my bikini wax the Thursday before I went into labor.  Again, perfect timing.  Even though I didn’t know in advance that I would end up having to get an episiotomy, I was lucky with that, too (in my opinion).  I feel like the less going on down there, the better off you are when someone is trying to stitch up your lady parts.

My fear is that this time, everything will be the opposite.  Meaning I might actually feel the contractions before my water breaks (if it breaks at all prematurely), that I will have put off shaving my legs too long, or that I will have missed my bikini wax appointment.  I know – some of these things are stupid, but I think I took them for granted last time because everything just worked out so well!

The good news is that the chances of my water breaking early are higher because it has already happened to me.  As long as I have time to get that epidural in, I will be okay.  That is the part that scares me the most, honestly.  How can it ever get easier to let someone insert a needle into your spine without moving a muscle?

I also asked my doctor if I would end up needing another episiotomy this time around.  The recovery sucked big time (again, in my experience, the recovery was worse than the actual labor and delivery process for sure).  She said it would be very unlikely that I would need to get cut again, because my body “knows what to do” this time around, and as such, labor shouldn’t last as long (so she says).

I was in the hospital last week for dehydration and contractions (I will save the details for a different post), but they ended up doing a bedside ultrasound to check on baby.  This was nice because I didn’t get to have one that late in the game for my first because she was so early.  Anyhow, the ultrasound tech showed me the kid already has two centimeters of hair on his or her head.  THANKS FOR THE HEARTBURN!  Oh well, at least we won’t have a bald baby 🙂

WE COULD HAVE BABY #2 IN TWO WEEKS!  YIKES!

 

 

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18 weeks, 2 days and getting fatter by the minute

Going back to the more positive format, where I don’t bitch about everything under the sun.

eating:   Nothing sounds good aside from sandwiches.  And my new fave is nacho cheese Doritos with jalapeno cheese dip.  Super healthy, right?  I just had a craving for Fro-Yo, so I thought I’d scope out a place close by.  I arrive, and as it turns out, this place is also a well-known pizza place, they just serve Fro-Yo for fun now.  So of course, I order a slice of pizza (which is actually like half a pizza in their terms), and nearly forget about the Fro-Yo.  Had to get a separate transaction.  It was no Red Mango, but it did the job.  Just regular old vanilla with some Cinnamon Toast Crunch pieces on top.

drinking: This is the worst.  With my last pregnancy, I craved fountain Pepsi like it was being discontinued.  This time, Pepsi upsets my stomach!  And it’s not the carbonation, because I still love my Black Cherry Schweppe’s sparkling water.  So in the end, it’s probably a good thing because I don’t really need all that sugar.  But, I did take a liking to Cherry Coke from the fountain (don’t tell my husband).  I can only get that at Subway sometimes.  I also have been drinking a lot of unsweetened black iced tea with added fresh lemon.  Coffee never sounds good either, unless it is from Dunkin for some reason.

avoiding:  Anything with heavy tomato sauce again this time.  Pizza is okay as long as the cheese outweighs the sauce.  Everything bagels are bad.  Anything with onion or garlic is gross.  So many things disgust me, and so many things do not sound appetizing at all.  At least I had some mega cravings when I was pregnant with Kenzie, but it’s just hard finding food to indulge in this time around.

wearing:  Same normal clothes, complete with the belly band that I bought from the first pregnancy.  Definitely one of the best investments I’ve ever made.  It also helps me with some of the pain I have been experiencing lately.  A few weeks ago, I started to get really sore in the pelvis/ vag area (sorry for TMI, but the pain is real).  Like I felt this extreme pressure if I was standing for too long.  That never happened with Kenzie until AFTER she was born, and the doctor explained it as gravity once my body was in recovery mode.  I messaged my doctor about it, and she responded with “try a belly band or wearing bicycle shorts for more support” – which actually has worked wonders!

feeling: Pretty good.  Hoping that I don’t jinx myself.  I’m still on the Diclegis, but only at night.  Works MUCH better than shitty Zofran.  Surprisingly, my back hasn’t been bothering me as much as it did this time around as it did with Kenzie.  No heating pad necessary.  And my ribs don’t hurt yet.  I am DEFINITELY showing sooner than I did the first time.  I have a mini bump.  Had nothing with Kenzie until 20+ weeks.  And we are going to the County Line Farm to Table dinner this Saturday, so I hope I can eat as much yummy food as possible!  They should have a designated driver ticket though.  So lame that I won’t get to indulge in the craft beers.   I’m sure Mike will drink double for me.

reading: Nothing at all – no time for that.  I’m getting dumber by the day.

buying:  Ha!  Just grocery shopping.  No time for anything else.  Though we are in the market for those bed barriers.  We are trying to transition Kenzie to a big bed so that the crib will be free for baby.  Fingers crossed that this new kid likes either the Rock n’ Play or the crib.  And I hope this kid will sleep on his/ her back.  Unlike Kenzie, who would only sleep on my chest for the first six months.

sleeping: Fine once Kenzie actually gives in and goes to sleep.  The kid can go to sleep at 11 p.m. and wake up at 7 a.m. with no problem.  Who are these kids who go to sleep at 7 and sleep for 12 hours?  WTF.  Not my kid!

loving:  When I get to shower at night and I am not rushed.  Loving Kenzie too, and her little personality/ attitude.  She loves squirrels and dogs and all things wild.  She will probably be a vet.  I think we are going to get her the Doc McStuffins pet care cart for Christmas.  Each Christmas gets more exciting with her since she is starting to understand things.  And we went through the Toys R Us catalog with her, and she really points to certain things consistently!  She points to this monkey toy and then starts doing the “5 little monkeys” song motions with her hands.  So cool.  And anything Mickey or Minnie.  She’s lovely.  I’m also loving that I can already feel new baby kicking, now that I know what it feels like. Ultrasound is next week.  Election Day.

getting used to:  Working with idiots and realizing that I just have to stick this job out until the kids are in school.

The First Three Weeks

This is a post I started a long time ago, obviously, but just now posting.   Funny to look back on.  It’s fitting, since she FINALLY slept through the night last night (March 8, 2016 = add to list of milestones).  If we have any other kiddos, this will be a good post to look back on.  I’m finally starting to feel like myself again, almost one year later.  Or maybe this will remind me we don’t want any other kiddos?  Ha!  As always, sorry for the profanity.  I was in the moment!
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So, we just started our fourth week of “Life with Kenzie”…

Just to give you an idea of how things are going, here is a scenario that just happened:

Because of the shitty day that it has been, I decided we *must* get out of the house.  Mama needed some coffee.  So to Dunkin Donuts we went!  I even brought the freaking dog so that no one would feel left out.  I had planned to leave the house around 2, so that we would avoid any and all school, lunch, or rush hours.  Want to know what time we left the house at?  4:47 p.m.  At that point, my mind was set on coffee, so we were going to make a run for it.

Baby Girl did good, at first.  I wish she could take a note or two from our dog.  He’s fantastic at car rides.  So I pull up at the drive thru at Dunkin and order my wonderful coffee and two chocolate glazed donuts.  One for me, and one for my husband for the morning.  And if he didn’t want it, then there would be two for me!  Fantastic.

So I ordered our stuff (no cries), and then pulled around to the window.  The lady saw the dog and gave me a cookie for him, which he was stoked about.  She must have missed the baby carrier, because maybe then she would have handed me a flask.  As we drove away from Dunkin Donuts, baby girl erupted with tears.  Ah yes, we had only been in the car for five tiny minutes, and that was enough for her to lose her shit.  I was contemplating driving around a bit more after we got our goodies, but her tone got louder and more ear piercing, so home we went.  Once I put the carrier down in the dining room table, she shut up.  WHAT THE FUCK.  I left her there for about 20 minutes as she slept, and then she woke up.  She must have forgotten that she was strapped in, because she was PISSED!  The mother of all screams came forth, so I took her out.  My fear is that if I go on a road trip with her, she will fall asleep in the car and then wake up forgetting what the hell is going on and let out that raging scream.

Excuse me, she just crapped her diaper while sitting in my lap.  That’s how loud she is when she poops and/ or farts.  Like a 40 year old man!  She’ll thank me for this post later.

Okay, 30 minutes later…(she went through two extra diapers..I think I’m so smooth to throw a new diaper under her butt once I wipe her off AND swipe out the old one at the same time…and then she pees on the new one AND her outfit…so I wipe her and give her another new one…she poops some more on that one….)   Then she’s hungry.  So I nursed her.  It literally felt like she was ripping off my nipple at the end of the 20 minutes.  And all the lactation consultants say, “you’re doing it wrong if it hurts”  – I call bullshit!

MacKenzie’s Birth Story – Part 5 (10 months later…)

Moving right along…

I still remember it like it was yesterday.  Picture it:  Sicily.  1922…

But for real, I did think that it would take me hours of pushing to get little chicky out.  Only because everyone tells their horror stories about how they were in labor and pushing for 12 hours, yadda yadda…had to eventually get a c-section because baby got wedged in there.  I do realize that she was tiny, so if the next kiddo is bigger, I imagine it taking a little longer.

Note to self:  Next time, have 80s and 90s music blasting in the delivery room for all to enjoy.  I had such great intentions of having a play list ready to go.  But then again, didn’t know little chicky was going to be a month early.

So I’m pushing and pushing every now and then when a contraction comes up.  Still no sweat or anything crazy.   It had probably been about 20 minutes or so.  Nurses are talking about random things.  Mike is being as supportive as he can, and we are holding little conversations in between as well.  So weird!

At no point does she tell me, “Okay, I see the head!”, maybe because I didn’t really seem interested in looking at the mirror to see the progress.  Which honestly, was probably for the best.  I would have been annoyed, I’m sure.

After another push, I’m looking at my wedding ring thinking, “Gosh, who knew I would be delivering our first baby before our one year anniversary” and Mike chimes in, “Babe, look” (he was pointing at my legs/ doctor area) – I figured he was telling me to look in the mirror or something so I told him to shut it, that I wasn’t interested!  He said, “NO, LOOOOOK” ……So I looked up, and there was baby girl, in Dr. Upp’s arms.  And then she let out a good scream, and we knew her lungs were GOOD TO GO.  ::phew, big sigh of relief there, since the lung development were the main thing they were worried about in her early arrival::  MacKenzie Josephine was born at 10:59 a.m. on April 13, 2015 weighing in at 4 lbs and 13 ounces, and 18 inches long.  It was kind of funny, because at some point early in the morning (probably 4 or 5 a.m. when she was checking my cervix again), she said, “Yep, you’ll probably have your baby girl by 11 a.m.”….crazy to me.  She knows her stuff.

As soon as Kenzie was delivered, Dr U said, “Wait wait, Mike, get your camera, and let’s get a few photos before we put her under the warming crib” – it was SO NICE to have them think about that kind of thing, because both of us were not thinking about it at all.  Because of that, we were able to get a few really great photos in the first few moments of our daughter’s life.  Now, we probably have a few thousand photos (not kidding – both of our phones are out of memory – we literally have to delete apps when we need to take more pics, it’s ridiculous).  We really need to invest in a nice camera.  I know camera phones have come a long way, but I want to be able to really control the photos I am taking (not just add instagram filters that I can never decide on).

And in case you were wondering, I did cry when baby girl was born.  Not like a loser who just fell off her bike type of cry, but a good, smiling cry with a few tears streaming.  Plus, it was a beautiful morning.  The sun was shining through the windows, and all was right in my world.  I never thought I would have cried.  Not because I have no heart, but because I thought I would just be happy, but not THAT happy to see a screaming babe 🙂  Mike had some hidden tears, too.

So Mike got our pics with the iPad, and then they moved her to the side of the room with the warming crib, and the NICU team checked her out and cleaned her up.  Final outcome?  Baby girl is perfectly healthy at 36 weeks!  WHAT UP.  My doctor then said, “Well, I guess we can cancel your appointment for Thursday!”  YEAH!  No more checking of the cervix, now I just get to hang with my happy baby!  Haha, oh how little I knew then about how the first few months would go.  I was so dumb and uninformed.  That’s okay though.  You live, you learn.  ::alanis::

After babe was born and the NICU team deemed her good to go, they put her on my chest for some skin-to-skin, while Mike went out and got the grandmas.  They were shocked that I had already delivered.  Everyone was happy as clams, as you could imagine.  Tears were flowing.  Happy happy.  After the grandmas got their fix, it was time to try to breastfeed.

I’ll save the breastfeeding topic for another post, because it seriously needs its own post with all of the BS that comes along with it (I am still breastfeeding, but I was so uneducated at first that it was frustrating and upsetting.  So if I can teach just one person something about my experience, it will be worth it).

Next post:  about the next two days spent in the hospital (pretty much a blur), and bringing home baby girl.  Oh what a journey it has been.

 

 

23 Weeks, 4 Days – Bebe is size of bunch of grapes

Really, Ovia?  A bunch of grapes?  SO WEIRD.

Okay, so I had another appointment Monday with my doctor.  This time, she actually took out a measuring tape to measure my belly.  Feeling fatter by the day!  But that’s okay.  I think I’ve managed to lose all other muscle in my body, so I’ll probably come out ahead in the long run (yeah, right). I have gained 13 lbs since my first appointment in October.  Hard to believe since I feel as though I am puking half of my nutrients away. When the doctor was listening for the heartbeat, baby kept kicking and kicking.  Baby is super active, and that makes me happy.   I’m sure baby will settle down when baby is born, right?  Because mama has no energy as it is. Before the doctor came in to visit with me, I could hear her talking to the woman in the room next to me.  The mom-to-be was 40, and they decided that she would be induced on Friday.  She said, “the next time I see you, you will have a baby” – how crazy is that?  I can’t believe we will be having that same discussion in the near future (hopefully not about induction – I have heard such horror stories!)

Something interesting we talked about while the doctor came in, was about hydration – a major concern of mine.  The taste (or lack thereof) of water makes me nauseous.  I generally put lemon in it, but even then it is hard to tolerate more than one bottle.  Every pregnancy blog announces how important it is to drink eight glasses of water per day, because baby needs it!  They make you feel so guilty if you don’t or can’t.   So I started telling her my problem, and she cut me off right away and started shaking her head, “You aren’t actually trying to drink that much water each day, are you?”  I said hell no, I just try to push myself to four glasses a day, which is a stretch.  She said don’t push it!  People tend to forget how much water is in the food that we eat, and even the other drinks that we take in, so it is rare that I would need to worry about being dehydrated.  If I were puking all day long and not holding anything down, then yes, we would need to talk about how I’m staying hydrated.  She seriously made me feel so much better.  I’m basically living on unsweetened iced tea with lemon at this point, drink-wise.  Unless fountain Pepsi is available…

My doctor also told me that the next test of mine would suck.  The glucose test that I have heard oh-so-much about!  After she explained that I would have to drink a can of lemon-lime juice containing double the sugar of a Red Bull in less than five minutes, I’m sure my facial expression explained it all.  I told her my fear was that it would make me sick, after she told me how much it disgusted everyone.  She told me I can take my anti-nausea pills that morning (even though I’m not supposed to eat or drink anything), and that I can wait another 4 or 5 weeks until I feel that the nausea period has passed (HA!).  If you can’t keep down the liquid crack and vomit, then you have to prick your finger every day for a week or so to monitor your own blood sugar.  NO THANKS.  So, I will definitely be the child sitting in the corner plugging her nose while she chugs the liquid crack.  Then, I get to sick and wait an hour after drinking it so they can take my blood again to make sure it’s doing what it should be with the sugar.  I told Mike he didn’t have to join me for that appointment.  It’s not going to be pleasant for anyone.  Stay tuned for that update.

I also asked her about my terrible lower back pains.  She suggested getting the icy hot patches and wearing those at work or in the car.  So I bought those at Walgreens yesterday, and THEY SUCK.  Don’t bother buying them.  I resorted to bringing my heating pad to work with me, which is the only thing that helps when I am having to sit upright for longer periods of time.

Anyhow, on to a more fun subject for me:  FOOD. I have found a new addiction/ craving.  Jodi’s Italian Ice Factory in Hammond, IN.  They only have a Facebook page right now, so that is the link I had added.  I know what you are thinking.  Who eats or wants Italian Ice in January in Chicago?  Only a fool!  Or a pregnant chicky.   It’s not just normal Italian Ice – she experiments with these crazy flavors.  For example, what got me to stop in was their sour strawberry/ lemonade sour patch kid Italian Ice.  Pair that baby with some nachos and jalapenos, and we are good to go.   I made my second trip there in a week yesterday.  So worth it.  Turns out the Subaru has an added nacho holder that I didn’t even know about!  Heck yeah.  Here are some photos of the goodness:

Italian IceNacho Cheese

And now for a healthier addiction I’ve had for lunch this entire week!   See below for the recipe/ photos.  Courtesy of Cuisine Magazine – Fast & Fresh Edition.  I made these sandwiches for my husband and I all week.  I usually get sick of things so quickly, but this has stuck.  I am thankful, since this is healthy for the most part.

Dill Havarti Veggie Sandwiches

For the dill spread, whisk: 1/4 cup of canola or olive oil mayonnaise 1/4 cup of sour cream 1/4 cup chopped fresh dill 1 tbsp. minced lemon zest Salt and black pepper to taste

For the sandwiches, spread: Pumpernickel Bread Slices 2 cups fresh baby spinach 8 oz sliced dill Havarti cheese 1/2  zucchini (crosswise), thinly sliced lengthwise  *mandolin works great for this 1/2  yellow squash (crosswise), thinly sliced lengthwise  *mandolin works great for this 1/2  red bell pepper (seeded and sliced) 1  cup thinly sliced cucumber (about 1/2 large cucumber)  *mandolin works great for this 1/2  cup thinly sliced red onion

For the dill spread, whisk mayonnaise, sour cream, dill, and zest in a small bowl; season with salt and pepper and set aside

For the sandwiches, spread the dill spread on one side of each bread slice. Layer spinach, cheese, zucchini, yellow squash, bell pepper, cucumber, and red onion on the bread.

CALORIE CONTENT:  Per sandwich, 448 calories; 27g total fat (15g salt); 69 mg chol; 873mg sodium; 32g carb; 6g fiber; 20g protein

dill havarti veggie sandwich

So, I’m Going to be a Mom.

I am about 7 weeks pregnant right now.  We haven’t told anyone yet, but we are going to have to very soon.

We had a scheduled trip to the wineries in Traverse City for Columbus Day weekend with his parents.  They rented a nice little house on the lake.  You better believe that we are still going.  They have some killer restaurants up there, so hopefully I will be feeling well enough to eat.  But that is likely when we will tell his parents.  Since I won’t be drinking like a fish, as per usual.

A few notes on pregnancy thus far:

The movies, TV, and everything else I can think of have pregnancy ALL WRONG.

They make it seem like all pregnant girls are fat and happy, rarely getting sick, and just love love love food of any type!  Seriously, every movie/ tv show I can remember about someone being pregnant involves the girl stuffing her face without a problem.

Guess what?  Food actually disgusts me right now (which is normal, once I started reading about it).   Everything I once loved makes me gag (for the most part).  And the things that I once loved, I also cannot eat now.  Sandwiches and hot dogs.  Kiss them goodbye during pregnancy.  You better believe that the first delivery my husband will be making to the hospital after the baby is born is hot dogs and Subway.  No joke!

I’ve gotten sick numerous times, but not enough to classify it as Hyperemesis Gravidarium.  I’m not as cool as Duchess Kate.   But for real, taking prenatal vitamins require so much concentration now!  Trying to swallow those bad boys will test your gag reflex like no other.  Disgusting.  I haven’t had to take any time off of work yet, but I’m sure that will happen in the future.  I’ve become far less productive at work though, that is for sure!  Thank God for interns.

I will be happy after we pass over that 12 week mark.  Supposedly, you are supposed to start feeling better after the first trimester.  I don’t buy it!

More pregnancy updates to follow…

Time to Quit and Have Babies, Right?

Well, I am utterly exhausted.  

My job has been getting worse and worse.  The projects are piling up and I have no energy when I get home.  But who is NOT overworked at my job?  We are in a terrible place financially, and everyone has high stress levels and a lack of patience.  

That being said, I have started looking for other jobs.  I so badly wanted to grow with this company.  I have been there just over a year, which is when you can start applying for other jobs within the company.  Well, because of our bad financials over the past few months, they have invoked a hiring freeze, aside from engineers, which we are in dire need of.  And we all know that I am the farthest thing from an engineer, therefore, I am screwed.  Don’t get me wrong, there was a point where I loved my job.  I do love the people I work with.  However, people still look to me as an admin. My job title is not even admin, but people assume.  I don’t generally correct them, because I don’t want them to think I’m a bitch, but maybe then it is my fault.  

I’m still young enough to start something new career-wise, but I’d really like to STAY with a company so I can collect some retirement money on a consistent basis so I am not poor if I am alone at the age of 65 (probably more like 70).  So, in my new search for jobs, I have decided that I would much prefer to quit my job and have a few babies.  Yes.  But then I realize that it would probably be beneficial to be married first.  I digress.  I realize that women are just as powerful as men in some companies, and I should be thankful that I have the opportunities to work with the people that I do, but there are so many other things that are important to me in life.  Like learning how to cook (successfully), visiting with family and friends who I wouldn’t get to see otherwise, dance, yoga….SO many things that seem more important to me.  I worry that if I keep working the way that I have been, my whole life is going to be over in the blink of an eye, and what am I going to have to show for it?  

I took a sick day today.  I genuinely am sick, I tried to make to make a doctor’s appointment an everything, but they can’t get me in until Tuesday.  

We found out that after the 1st of the year, my company will begin to charge employees $25 per month if they have a company Blackberry, and $35 per month if they have an iPhone (they are replacing all Blackberry phones with iPhones when they break anyhow).  They have lost their minds.  I’ll be giving up my cell phone at that time.  It’s going to make my job even more difficult.  I can’t even begin to tell you about the customer issues that we have over the weekends that are left for me to deal with when no one else is around.  I can’t wait to see what happens when I no longer have a cell phone through the company.  

I think it really comes down to me not believing in the executive team that is leading our organization.  The CEO has no clue what is going on within our company and cannot fathom why we are so late on so many of our commitments.  They just had a “coming to Jesus” meeting yesterday so that they could go through order-by-order with him to explain why we are so far in over our heads (and he is so far removed to know otherwise).  About a year too late.  Our company, a very well-known company, is losing credibility because our executives are overcommitting us.  

So with that, I need to make some decisions.  I am not happy.  

Time to make some changes.  

Or convince my boyfriend to let me quit and have some babies.