Thank You For Being a Friend

I remember when I was younger, my Grandma (on my dad’s side) would ask all about my friends.  When I was having a birthday party for friends, she always asked who I was inviting and tried to remember the girls from when she may have seen them at our house in the past.

My Grandma passed away last year, and left a diary to me.  In that diary, she wrote about all of her time spent with my brother and I while we were growing up.  She loved writing and keeping records and dates of things that had happened in the past.  I even remember her having a paper calendar in their kitchen with so many notes scribbled on each small square.  I would read them and question what some things meant when I was younger.  She would write important things, such as birthdays, and other things that were not so important such as, “Seinfeld – funny episode” or “Letterman Top 10 List”…hilarious.

I remember telling her on many occasions that our close knit group of friends would be friends forever.  Oh, what a term!   Even as the years went by, and my group of friends changed, I still felt so strongly that I would remain friends forever with at least some of them, and that we would always be a big part of each other’s lives.  My Grandma was less than encouraging when I told her this!  I remember her saying on many occasions, “You’ll see Melissa, things will be different when you are all adults – you won’t be as close as you think”…this made me SO upset.  And because of that, I was more motivated than ever to beat the odds with my group of friends.

My Grandma is probably laughing at me up in heaven.  I mean, it’s not that I don’t have any friends.  But I’ve learned that as you get older and get into your adult years, get married, have kids, etc, the time that you have to call your own and devote to outside friends is few and far between.  That’s life, but that doesn’t make the reality of it suck any less.

The movie Now & Then is one of my favorite movies.  It came out at the perfect time for my group of friends and I (1995 – and I just realized that was more than 20 years ago – I feel older by the minute these days).  We all tried to pick someone in the movie that we could relate to or looked like, and we would channel that girl.   In the movie, when they fast-forward as adults, Chrissy is pregnant and goes into labor.  I don’t know why, but it always stuck with me that the three other girls were all in the room while she was giving birth (nevermind that one of them was a doctor or that they all just happened to be in town at that time).  I always wanted that for my friendships.  I wanted them to last.  I wanted all of us to live in a cul-de-sac in a small town and watch our kids grow up together and become the same kind of friends.  Hahaha, I was SO dumb and young.

I even thought about it as I was in labor with my daughter.  Don’t get me wrong, my husband was great and all that I needed at that time.  And maybe it’s just part of growing up. What I failed to realize in the movie (the movie that is not real life – I have to keep reminding myself of this) is that these women probably all went their separate ways and just HAPPENED to be back for one big event.  I’m sure they didn’t gab on the phone every day and see each other every month, let alone every year.  So goes the term, adulting.

I mean, we had all the time in the world when we were growing up.  No jobs (aside from one of our guy friends who pretended to caddy) or commitments other than babysitting (I’ll save the Babysitters Club for another post).  We spent our summer days riding our bikes around town, trying to get lost, buying 13 pieces of candy for a dollar, swimming, dancing, creating babysitter clubs, etc because we didn’t have jobs to worry about, or anything else of importance.   We were lucky to have each other when we did.  I’m sure not all adults look back happily at their childhood.  So instead of being sad that I don’t have some of those friendships now, I will choose to be happy that I can one day share the memories when my kids are old enough, and hopefully give them that same carefree childhood.

Until then, I will watch Now & Then and remember how great I had it growing up 🙂

BuzzFeed Now & Then

Sidenote:  I had no idea Bonnie Hunt was in this movie until just recently.  Hilarious.

 

 

Worst Mom #445

I’m not really counting the reasons why I am sometimes a bad mom.  My numbering system is probably pretty accurate, though.

Anyhow, this happened a few weeks ago on a Friday.  I picked up Kenzie from the babysitter’s house after another fun-filled day at work.

I put her in the car seat and noticed she dropped her doll’s pacifier.  Of course.  So I start looking all over for it.  Can’t find it.  Distracted her with some pretzels.  Good to go.

So, I’m driving along and we get to a light about 10 minutes later.  Just a block away from getting on the expressway.  I look back at little chicky in my rear view mirror (we have one of those mirrors on her seat in the back since she is still rear-facing) and see that she is proudly STANDING UP facing me with a huge smile on her face.  YEP, I forgot to buckle her in because I was so distracted looking for the dumb fake pacifier.  I immediately start looking around to see where I can pull into quickly to get her strapped in.  There is a White Castle just a few feet ahead and I just need to turn right to get into the parking lot.  Perfect.

At the same time, I am telling Kenzie sternly “SIT DOWN”, to which she just laughs and smiles because she knows what she has accomplished.  Completely ignores me.

The light turns green, and I slowly start to turn into the White Castle parking lot.  I look in the mirror as I am doing this and watch Kenzie do a little cartwheel and fall over onto the seat next to her.  OMG.  She starts whining/ fake crying.  I ask, “Are you okay?!”  To which she replies, “Yeah” (in the saddest tone ever – hilarious).  So I get her all buckled in (against her will of course, because now she knows what freedom is like in the car), and away we go while she cried for the duration of the trip.  What a heart attack!  So thankful we were not on the expressway going 70 mph when it happened.  I am a moron.

Stay tuned for more bad mom stories, I’m sure they’ll be coming.  Especially with pregnancy brain over here.

 

20 more weeks of hell

Alright.  I give up.  I had a good run for a few weeks.  I had to practically run another employee our of restroom.

Now, for the second time in a week, I am getting sick mid-day.  At 20 weeks pregnant.  With an 18 month old to take care of.  And a full-time job to work.

I don’t even need to look at the ultrasound picture that my dear husband has been hiding from me.  I know it’s another girl.  Won’t need to focus on boy names.  Great.  Time saved.  And if anyone else asks me, “Well what if you don’t get your boy this time, aren’t you going to try again?”…STRAIGHT TO THE MOON.

I’m not really into rooting for one gender over the other, as long as the kid is healthy and not having to spend time in the NICU.  So the answer is NO, I don’t really give a shit if our last name moves on for another generation.  If we can raise two competent (or semi competent human beings), I consider that a success.

Going for a third, in my opinion, would be like tempting fate for us.  Mike already blames me for giving him Shingles last year.  *for the record, I did not give him Shingles, though he believes that I am the reason that caused them because I am so difficult and cause him so much stress in life (in the midst of trying to take care of a colicky newborn and trying to recover from a little thing called childbirth).  I should have made labor and delivery look much more difficult, but I can tolerate pain and managed it well.  Too well.  So next time, I’m putting on much more of a show.

Long story short, a third kid would both put us in the poor house, and likely set up impending divorce because I would be able to get even less housework done than I do now (which isn’t that much, truth be told).  Call me a negative nancy, but I value my relationship with my husband.  I know there are couples out there who can/ want to do it, and maybe that will in turn make their relationship stronger.  We are not that couple.  We still want to travel (with and without kids), and we want to be able to retire at a decent age and not have to worry about kids still living with us.  And I need to get myself a more challenging job.  This job is perfect for when the kiddos are tiny humans, but once they are in full day school, I’m out.  Call me selfish, but I would expect my kids to do the same thing.  Some women are made to be stay at home moms – and more power to you.  Some women have to work to keep their sanity.  I am one of those women.

Thanks for listening to me bitch.  Fingers crossed for a better evening and few days/ weeks ahead.

PS:  I’m already listening to Christmas music and LOVING it.   It works when I’m trying to drown out the terrible music and voices of certain co-workers.

PPS:  I asked my doctor if I would be required to take the shitty glucose test again with this child since I clearly am not at risk for gestational diabetes, per my last test and pregnancy.  She said yes, absolutely.  COOL.  So I asked her if I could eat a little something beforehand this time, because I’m not really into passing out.  To my surprise, she told me yes!  But she said to keep it to things without sugar.  So, eggs, whole grain toast…things like that would be good.  Totally doing that this time.  SCREW THE GLUCOSE TEST.  DAMN THE MAN.

My Fellow Americans

“There was only one assassination attempt on me.  You had three” – from one of my very favorite movies – My Fellow Americans.  Politics will always be politics.  I will always be excited for election day and watching the votes as they come in, state by state.  Especially local elections, obviously.  Probably because I’ve always wanted to run for office, or because I’ve worked in local government.

I refuse to post on Facebook about the election, so I will take to my blog in an effort to vent about the morons on Facebook.  I swear it was better when social media didn’t exist.  People are seriously ready to jump off bridges.  To me, it is comical.  I read a few posts late last night and early this morning, and it just kills me how dramatic everyone is being.

“I am so glad that I don’t have kids.  It’s going to be a challenge to raise them in the next four years”

“I am crying right now because I am worried about my children’s futures”

“Is this really happening right now?”

“What a sad day for the world”

And my personal favorite, from someone in the office today, “I’m just worried that we’re going to get nuked”

GROW THE FUCK UP, PEOPLE.

Guess what?  It’s going to be a challenge to raise your kid no matter who is in office.  BECAUSE YOU ARE THEIR PARENT.  Hardest job in the world.  But that’s no reason to not have kids.  Things could always be worse.  We don’t live in a third world country where food and clean water is unavailable to us.  Our kids’ futures are what we as parents put into them.  I can tell you that President Obama did not help me at all with baby #1 or how I have raised her up to this point, and none of his policies burdened/ benefited my family in the process.  Unless you want to count the fact that paid FMLA is still not mandated, in which case, every president has sucked up to this point.  Although I can appreciate that he recently signed a law mandating changing tables in BOTH men’s and women’s restrooms alike.  That will benefit moms and dads everywhere.  Other than that – no impact. Business as usual.

Guess what?  The entire U.S. is not automatically considered racist because Trump was elected.  Evidently, the majority of this country wants change.  SHOCKER.  There are other reasons people voted for Trump, and I’m sure the majority of people didn’t do so in hopes of a wall going up or demeaning women.  But they probably agreed with some of his other views, which would directly impact their family for the better, and voted for him.

Let’s try to stay positive and realize that we are not doomed for the next four years.

Everything is going to be okay.    And if it’s not, we will unify and work through it together, like we always do.  Because that is the beauty of living in America.

“Hail to the chief, if you don’t, I’ll have to kill you. I am the chief, so you better watch your step, you bastards.”

 

 

The First Ear Infection

Last Thursday was easily the worst night/ morning we have EVER had with Kenzie.  Even counting her colicky stage.

At one point, I said to Mike (over screaming cries):  “We should just give this other child to your sister or something, I don’t think I’m equipped to handle two – I’m not cut out for this”  I was obviously joking, but it was so bad!  She wouldn’t even take any medicine because she was hysterical the entire time.  Just a little Tylenol would have helped the situation immensely, given she probably had terrible pain in her ear.

She eventually tired herself out around 9 and wanted to eat something (just jello), but then she was walking around like normal and laughing for about 45 minutes.  WHAT THE HELL.  I think she is good to go (if I were smart, I would have given her some tylenol in those 45 minutes of calm), and we head up to bed.  I lay her down.  THE WORLD IMPLODES.

Long story short, she finally went to bed at 4:30 a.m. because she just couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore.  She slept on my chest for a few hours before waking up for the day.

It is the ABSOLUTE WORST when your kid can’t tell you what is wrong.  I know everyone says that after your child starts talking in full sentences, you wish it would go back because they won’t shut up, but I am just so excited to soon be able to hold little conversation with her.  Her personality is so fun – she’s going to comical to talk with, if nothing else.

So, as soon as I am able to the next morning, I call her doctor’s office to get her in.  This was on a Friday.  The one downside to her pediatrician’s office is that they are closed on the weekends.  You have your ped’s cell phone number if you need to contact him or her, but of course, you feel like it has to be an absolute emergency to call them and you feel terrible doing it (I’ve done this twice, and he always sounds like he’s at a party – never rude or annoyed though).  It still sucks.

I get her an appointment at 10 a.m.   Another day I had to take off.  My boss is great about it, since he has four kids of his own.  But all I can focus on are my extra paid maternity leave days slipping away.  That’s okay, though, because I was there when my daughter needed me most.

The doctor checks her right ear first.  My biggest worry is that she’s going to say, “well, it’s probably just teething – just something you have to work through”….and then my head would have exploded.  Instead, she looks in the first ear and says, “Ooh, that one is definitely infected” – and checks the other one and says, “and this one is trying to get infected too”….A little bit of relief washes over me.  WHAT KIND OF PARENT IS HAPPY WHEN A DOCTOR TELLS THEM THEIR KID HAS AN EAR INFECTION?!  I was just so happy that there was a reason behind her hours and hours of crying.

So on the Amoxicillin she went!  18 months was a good run without needing any antibiotics.  For the record, she starting acting like her crazy self again almost immediately.  I hope the next time her ear hurts, she is just able to tell us 🙂

And to end this completely off-topic, the show “This is Us” is nowhere close to being as good as “Parenthood” was.  I just finished watching what I think was the 4th or 5th episode.  I find myself fast forwarding through much of the story lines (both brothers when they are in present times).  I have only been watching the overweight sister’s segments, and that ends up being like 15 minutes of the show and even that annoys me.  Get it together, NBC.  Nothing will ever replace Parenthood, so just bring it back, please.

PS:  I remembered to wear deodorant today and even got to shower!  Success all around.  And ultrasound is tomorrow to find out gender.  A big week for us all.  Stay tuned!

 

Did I put on deodorant this morning?

I ask myself that question while driving to work far too often.  I keep an extra stick in my office drawer in case I forget.  It’s quite sad.  I also question what I wore the day before in hopes that I don’t wear the same shirt.  My main concern is now making sure Kenzie is fed and looks cute in whatever she is wearing.  My, how priorities have changed.

Anyhow, I finally got my hair cut for the first time in months recently.  My hair stylist introduced me to this product that is kind of like a light powder – but is actually quite magical.  It is called Redken Texture Powder Grip 03.  It basically allows you to go days without washing your hair.  Call me gross or disgusting – I don’t really care.  My hair is thick and naturally curly (not as thick as it used to be, thanks to motherhood), and doesn’t get greasy easily right away if I don’t use curl cream.  Like, if I straighten it, I could go a day before I have to wash again without the powder.  At one point in my life, I had time to shower each day and this wasn’t an issue.  That luxury is GONE.  NOW, I can go a few days without washing my hair.  Don’t worry guys, I still shower every other day at least, I just omit the hair.  But that’s okay, because that’s what these products are for!  See link here:  Redken Power Grip 03

I don’t use it on my first hair straightening day after I have slept on my wet head once (I mostly have time to shower at night, if I am lucky).  This is mostly for the second, third, etc days.  I still use the curling iron sparingly to add a few extra fat curls so it doesn’t look like I *just* woke up.  After that, sprinkle a little of the fairy dust around the crown of your head (sparingly), and then your lift your hair with your fingers from UNDER to kind of get it in there and lift your hair.  IT IS WONDERFUL.  And it doesn’t make your hair feel gross – it actually gives it a little lift.  Maybe just feels like you’ve got some extra hair spray in there.

Just a little PSA to those who need it.  And the link offers this stuff cheaper than most salons, plus a 10% off code if you get added to their mailing list.

This is just in an effort to not look like a complete disaster each day of my life.

18 weeks, 2 days and getting fatter by the minute

Going back to the more positive format, where I don’t bitch about everything under the sun.

eating:   Nothing sounds good aside from sandwiches.  And my new fave is nacho cheese Doritos with jalapeno cheese dip.  Super healthy, right?  I just had a craving for Fro-Yo, so I thought I’d scope out a place close by.  I arrive, and as it turns out, this place is also a well-known pizza place, they just serve Fro-Yo for fun now.  So of course, I order a slice of pizza (which is actually like half a pizza in their terms), and nearly forget about the Fro-Yo.  Had to get a separate transaction.  It was no Red Mango, but it did the job.  Just regular old vanilla with some Cinnamon Toast Crunch pieces on top.

drinking: This is the worst.  With my last pregnancy, I craved fountain Pepsi like it was being discontinued.  This time, Pepsi upsets my stomach!  And it’s not the carbonation, because I still love my Black Cherry Schweppe’s sparkling water.  So in the end, it’s probably a good thing because I don’t really need all that sugar.  But, I did take a liking to Cherry Coke from the fountain (don’t tell my husband).  I can only get that at Subway sometimes.  I also have been drinking a lot of unsweetened black iced tea with added fresh lemon.  Coffee never sounds good either, unless it is from Dunkin for some reason.

avoiding:  Anything with heavy tomato sauce again this time.  Pizza is okay as long as the cheese outweighs the sauce.  Everything bagels are bad.  Anything with onion or garlic is gross.  So many things disgust me, and so many things do not sound appetizing at all.  At least I had some mega cravings when I was pregnant with Kenzie, but it’s just hard finding food to indulge in this time around.

wearing:  Same normal clothes, complete with the belly band that I bought from the first pregnancy.  Definitely one of the best investments I’ve ever made.  It also helps me with some of the pain I have been experiencing lately.  A few weeks ago, I started to get really sore in the pelvis/ vag area (sorry for TMI, but the pain is real).  Like I felt this extreme pressure if I was standing for too long.  That never happened with Kenzie until AFTER she was born, and the doctor explained it as gravity once my body was in recovery mode.  I messaged my doctor about it, and she responded with “try a belly band or wearing bicycle shorts for more support” – which actually has worked wonders!

feeling: Pretty good.  Hoping that I don’t jinx myself.  I’m still on the Diclegis, but only at night.  Works MUCH better than shitty Zofran.  Surprisingly, my back hasn’t been bothering me as much as it did this time around as it did with Kenzie.  No heating pad necessary.  And my ribs don’t hurt yet.  I am DEFINITELY showing sooner than I did the first time.  I have a mini bump.  Had nothing with Kenzie until 20+ weeks.  And we are going to the County Line Farm to Table dinner this Saturday, so I hope I can eat as much yummy food as possible!  They should have a designated driver ticket though.  So lame that I won’t get to indulge in the craft beers.   I’m sure Mike will drink double for me.

reading: Nothing at all – no time for that.  I’m getting dumber by the day.

buying:  Ha!  Just grocery shopping.  No time for anything else.  Though we are in the market for those bed barriers.  We are trying to transition Kenzie to a big bed so that the crib will be free for baby.  Fingers crossed that this new kid likes either the Rock n’ Play or the crib.  And I hope this kid will sleep on his/ her back.  Unlike Kenzie, who would only sleep on my chest for the first six months.

sleeping: Fine once Kenzie actually gives in and goes to sleep.  The kid can go to sleep at 11 p.m. and wake up at 7 a.m. with no problem.  Who are these kids who go to sleep at 7 and sleep for 12 hours?  WTF.  Not my kid!

loving:  When I get to shower at night and I am not rushed.  Loving Kenzie too, and her little personality/ attitude.  She loves squirrels and dogs and all things wild.  She will probably be a vet.  I think we are going to get her the Doc McStuffins pet care cart for Christmas.  Each Christmas gets more exciting with her since she is starting to understand things.  And we went through the Toys R Us catalog with her, and she really points to certain things consistently!  She points to this monkey toy and then starts doing the “5 little monkeys” song motions with her hands.  So cool.  And anything Mickey or Minnie.  She’s lovely.  I’m also loving that I can already feel new baby kicking, now that I know what it feels like. Ultrasound is next week.  Election Day.

getting used to:  Working with idiots and realizing that I just have to stick this job out until the kids are in school.