Preschool Open House Shit Show

I’m writing this about a year later because I don’t want to forget how great this story is.

I remember it vividly.  It was orientation for Kenzie’s first year of preschool.  It was a Wednesday evening.  My husband and I both worked full days while the girls were at Mary’s.  We got Noodles & Company for dinner and went to my mom’s to eat (she lives very close to the preschool/ my work/ Mary’s house).  We had about 45 minutes to eat and head to her school (I wanted to get there a little early).

I knew Kenzie was going to be shy.  I was prepared for that.  But I was not prepared for what would happen next.

They have you in this holding area in the basement before they open the doors to let you in.  Picture this:  Families with their kids (and babies) all scrunched into a hallway/ stairs waiting to get in.  My anxiety was already up there, but that did me in.

They finally let us in, and they explain where each class should go (they have both 3 year old and 4 year old classes).  We got in line for our class.  Kenzie was very shy and quiet, just watching all the action around her.  I was kind of doing the same.

They then let us into what would eventually be her classroom.  There were twenty children total in her class, so picture that plus all the moms and dads and some siblings, just to keep it interesting.

There came a time when the teacher asked all of the kids to sit on the carpet in the middle of the class and the parents to stand in the back while she went over a few things about the processes and what to expect for the coming year.

Kenzie sat down (against her will) and my husband and I stood on the other side.  The teacher started talking and Kenzie started to stand up.  I looked at her and motioned for her to sit her butt down.  She started to cry.  I went over to her and she starts to say, “I have to go pee pee” and then it happened.  SHE STARTED PEEING.  Right on the floor.  I picked her up as fast as I could.  She was also wearing a dress, so the pee was just coming out at an alarming rate.  That’s when I remembered that we never took her to go potty before we left my mom’s.  She drank an entire mini chocolate milk jug before we left.  FANTASTIC.  I could have avoided this.

So after I picked her up, I started sprinting for the door.  Pee is dripping all over me at this point.  I leave Mike behind to clean everything.  The whole time this is happening, the teacher doesn’t even flinch and none of the parents even move.  It was amazing.  It’s probably better that way, but holy shit was it embarrassing.  I walked out and since I had never been there before, I didn’t know where the restrooms were.  Of course, I walked the wrong way (she’s still peeing at this point).  My heart was pounding, I was sweating, and I’m pretty sure my legs were jello.

Found the bathrooms finally.  She had finished peeing by this time, but I still put her on the potty just in case.  [She was potty trained, by the way.]  Just another mom fail!  Magically, I had an extra pair of her underwear in my purse (I know, it’s like I knew this shit was going to happen).  So I was able to change her underwear and then her dress really wasn’t too bad since it was instead all over my outfit (YEAH!!!).  By the time we were done cleaning up, I walked her back into the room and the carpet time discussion was over.  Not a clue what we missed.  Mike was just putting back some cleaning spray and paper towels.  Thank God he was there, he cleaned up the giant puddle she left behind.

And then I took a deep breath and tried to recoup what was left of the evening so that we weren’t at a total loss.  Kenzie went and played at a table with a some intertwining flowers and puzzles and met her teachers.  At least they wouldn’t soon forget who she was.  Ah yes, the girl who peed everywhere on orientation night!

And over a year later, and she hasn’t had any potty accidents since then.  And now I’ve jinxed it.  Just wait for the next post 😉

Potty Training with Miss Kenzie

Oh man, what a fun evening we had.

My original plan was to start potty training fast and furious during my maternity leave.  Things got a little busy/ crazy with two kids, so that never ended up being a priority.

I got home Thursday and noticed that Kenzie had a bit of a rash on her bottom, so I decided to let her soak a little longer in the bathtub.  I also thought, “This would be a great opportunity to start using her big girl undies!”  So, rather than put a night time diaper on her and not let the rash breathe, I put on her Minnie Mouse undies.  I talked to her about it, and explained that she needed to let mama or dada know when she needed to potty, and we would take her up to her pretty potty.

She has already gone potty on it a few times, so she knows the drill.  She enjoys playing with her potty more than using it, though.  For example, she will place her bear on the potty seat and say, “Bear going potty”….so she totally gets it, but she just isn’t interested in using it herself.

So I bring Kenzie downstairs, and Mike says, “This is a terrible idea, I don’t like it”….I told him just not to let her sit on the couch or anything.  Easy enough, right?  So I go upstairs to start running Maddy’s bath.  [I feel all that I do after getting home from work is change diapers, clean up toys, bathe the kids, and feed them constantly].   I realize all of Maddy’s diapers are downstairs, so I run down to grab one.  I notice that Kenzie is sitting on Mike’s lap and he is combing her hair (she won’t let me do it – everything I try to do gets a “Dada Do!!”  She hates me already!).

As I walk by, I say, “Wow, you’re brave” and continued on upstairs to get Maddy ready for her bath.  Before I can even get Maddy to the tub, I hear Mike scream, “AHHH!!!”  And then I just waited.  He ran up the stairs holding Kenzie out like she had some type of disease.  I took her and asked what was wrong, just to be funny.  He was clearly pissed (no pun intended).

You guys, she seriously had the smallest amount of pee on her nightgown.  Mike claims that was because it all leaked out onto him.  He had already run to change his shorts.  HILARIOUS.  After he changed and I cleaned up Kenzie, he said, “We’re not doing that anymore” in a super pissed off/ attitudey kind of voice…and then I asked him what his suggestion was for potty training.  “She’ll just tell us when she has to go, and then we’ll take her to the potty”….HAHAHAHA.   Well, maybe when she’s 4 she can do that.

Looks like I’m going to have to do the potty training while he is not home!   Not like I have anything else to do.

Potty Training & Other Fun Topics (+31 weeks pregnant)

I type this as my eyes are closing.  It’s only 1:47 p.m. on a Monday, but I am getting more exhausted by the day.  I need to hire a personal chef, driver, stylist, and maid.  I’m sure I’m leaving something out.  Oh, pregnancy.  Just put me out of my misery.

I just wanted to document that Kenzie used her potty for the first time on her own!  Could not be more proud of my girl.

We only just bought the fake potty (see here:  Fisher Price Potty Light Up) last weekend.  I thought it was going to be a few months before she even considered taking it for a spin.  Of course I had high hopes last weekend and thought I would have her going in the potty immediately (ha, I’m so dumb).  She was merely interested in the fake flushing mechanism of her new toy and that it lit up and talked upon flushing the handle.

So last night, little chica was sitting on my lap as I was reading a Sesame Street book to her.  All of the sudden, my leg got really warm, so I know she had peed in her diaper.  I stopped reading and said, “Kenz, you are supposed to tell me when you have to potty, remember?”  and she replied with, “potty!”…so I figured why not try.  It was nearly time for her bubble bath, so I raced her up the stairs to the bathroom thinking maybe she had some left in her.  I said, “You sit on the potty while I fill up your bath tub, okay?”  and she replied, “okay!”…so I helped her take off her pants and diaper, and she promptly sat down on her little toy.  She sat longer than she normally did before, and all of the sudden, I heard a little bit trickle out!  And of course, there is a sensor at the bottom of her potty that sings “You went potty!!” when something fills it, even just a little.  I screamed for Mike and then told her how happy and proud I was of her.  Then I went and got her a sticker to put on her potty (I thought I would start with the sticker system, even if she just tries, she will get a sticker to put on the back of her potty).

I know she is not magically trained now and there is much work to be done still, but this is a huge milestone!  Now the babysitter can also be on board with potty training during the day (she also does the sticker system).  I understand she might regress after the new baby comes along, but that is to be expected.

The two main things that I wanted to have in motion prior to delivering baby number 2 were:

(1)  have Kenzie sleeping in her big girl bed consistently (her big girl bed is a freaking queen size Simmons complete with pillow top – I bought it when I moved out on my own, and it only got like two years of use – girl has got it made in the shade).  Fingers crossed all over the place that this new kiddo is a fan of the rock n’ play sleeper.  Kenzie HATED it and would only sleep on my chest.  Otherwise, it will be co-sleeping again for the first few months.  But that’s okay, because I feel slightly more prepared as to what my options will be if baby is not a good sleeper.

(2)  start potty training.  Successful start, and we will just keep on keepin’ on.

*I also wanted a deep freezer for breastmilk storage purposes.  Mike was always annoyed at how many frozen plastic containers I had spread all over our tiny freezer.  I told him to avoid that this time around, he needed to buy me a deep freezer.  Find a place for it – I don’t care where.  We will need it in the future with two kids, anyhow.  His main protest is that I will fill it with other crap and forget about it and then it will all be freezer burn/ spoiled/ etc.  So I have to keep bothering him about that to ensure that I get my way.

*I also tried to get him to buy a few sleepers at Target this weekend for the hospital.  Aden + Anais had these adorable sleepers on clearance:  Aden + Anais Sleeper   He was like, “what do we need those for?”  UH, for new baby at the hospital!!  The little wrap shirt that they put Kenzie in when she was born was a complete pain in the ass.  I want something that zips up easily – no buttons, straps, nothing over the head.  I want EASY this time.  So I have to keep fighting the good fight for that too, especially because I will probably tell Mike to leave us at the hospital so he can be with Kenzie overnight, and so he can get some rest as well.

*And finally, I am getting some pressure from people about having a second baby shower!  I guess people have “sprinkles” or whatever, but I’m pretty sure that is normally when you know you are having a baby of the opposite gender (which I don’t want to know), and normally is a much smaller gathering at someone’s house.  I don’t like to put people out.  If they want to buy us something, they will.  I’ll tell you this, I will want some good beer, sushi, and sandwiches following birth.  That’s all I want.  Oh, and maybe some special brownies for when my pain meds run out.  ::Is she kidding?::

Gestational Diabetes

Got the call Saturday to confirm from my doctor that I DO NOT have gestational diabetes (duh).  After three days of separate blood draws after 8 hours fasts, my glucose levels came back as follows:  74, 75, 75.  The normal range is between 70 and 100.  YEAH!  Not even close to the problem zone.

The nurses working in the lab told me how lucky I was that my doctor allowed me to check for GD this way.  Many of the doctors will make you take the one hour test again, or at minimum the three hour test.  NO THANKS.  I know what my body can handle, and I think my doctor realized this, seeing as this was the second pregnancy with the same reaction to the Glucola drink of death.  What I wish I had known in the past is that you can pretty much turn down any test that they want you to take.  It is your body.  Your baby.  If you don’t want to know if there are any birth defects, etc, that is your right.  It obviously would not change the fact that some would still proceed with the pregnancy.

Someone just asked me my due date at work.  I told them April 2.   The lady replied with, “So that means you could really go as early as March 2 if this pregnancy is similar to Kenzie’s, right?”    YIKES.  So yes, it could be less than two months before we have two children under two in our house.  What the fuck were we thinking?

To make things even more fun and exciting, we are going to start potty training our 20 month old.  Because what sounds like more fun than that while 7 months pregnant? I just cannot fathom having two in diapers.   What’s worse is that my husband doesn’t get it.  I think he believes that if we talk to her enough about it, she will just walk over to her little princess potty and pop a squat.  Uh, no.

I explained to him that starting this weekend, she would be walking around without pants or a diaper on.  His response:  I already had to potty train Rory (our dog) like that, I’m not doing that with a human.  We have to be 100% on board with this training method.  Realistically, we should do it when we have a 3 or 4 day weekend.  The good thing is that our babysitter will be on board whenever we are ready to start, so we will have that support too.

I already told him I would be cleaning up the messes out of the potty training potty because it grosses him out.  It’s funny, because he loves cleaning so much.  But when it comes to that stuff, no thanks.  He once accidentally dropped his razor into the toilet, because our cabinet is directly above the toilet (way to plan that).  He wouldn’t get it!  He made me do it.  There was nothing in the toilet, either – just clean water (I know, there are still germs in there, but grow up, man!)   If I wasn’t home, he would have fished it out with a hanger or something, and then thrown everything away (it was a brand new razor – he is insane).

And one more win for momma:  I got my husband to buy a recliner/ rocker.  A crucial component to new motherhood if you are breastfeeding.  I wish I had known ahead of time how important it would have been.  I thought I was doing us a favor and saving us some money.  In the long run, my posture and back suffered BIG TIME.  It’s hard to nurse a tiny little human when you are sitting on a bed or a deep sectional couch.  I felt like the hunchback of Notre Dame after a few months.  And NO, the Boppy did not help me at all.  Maybe my torso is too long/ too short?  Maybe my arms or shoulders weren’t strong enough for feeding on demand CONSTANTLY?  I really don’t know what it was, but I do know that a rocker/ recliner would have solved a lot of my issues with baby #1.  Looking forward to sitting on the rocker and watching Everybody Loves Raymond reruns in the middle of the night with baby #2.  I might even be able to fall asleep in that fancy chair!