Well, I’ve hit a new low.
I know being a mom can be gross with the spit up, poop, sticky food, projectile puke, having to retrieve toys out of the toilet, etc. None of that really ever bothered me. Bothers my husband more, which is hilarious to me.
So yesterday was Monday. When I bring my daughter to school, I walk in with her, and then I take her to the potty before she walks into her classroom (we have a 45 min ride from home, so I always make her go). There are two stalls in the girls’ bathroom. One is a regular-sized toilet and the other is a super short toilet which is great for the littles. Of course, they only want to use the little potty. So we wait in line behind two others. These kids are slow as molasses. But that’s okay. It’s preschool. Who cares if you’re late to class? Who cares if mom is later to work than usual?
So it’s finally her turn to use the potty. She walks in, locks the door behind her. I’m always so proud of her for being a big girl. She’s only 4.
So she’s in there doing her thing, and then it happens. “Mama, I need help”….
FFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK. She pooped.
She’s pretty good about cleaning herself up, but sometimes needs help if she poops. It’s hard for her to reach around.
I look at the door, and realize it’s not like the stalls that we used to have in school where a coin could be used to open the lock. FUCK.
So what do I do? I got on the floor and crawled under the stall. Wearing a skirt and heels. Almost broke my back I think. As I was on the ground, I questioned how often they might clean it, since I could smell pee.
Dear daughter then asks as I slowly stand up, “Mama, why didn’t you just use the door?” Oh she is hilarious.
Cleaned her butt up and then we washed hands. Then she was pissed because her whole class had already walked into the class (she usually walks hand in hand with her friend Nora), so then she was extra shy and didn’t want to walk in by herself. Teacher came an helped. Maybe she saw the look of defeat on my face.
I wanted to go take a shower immediately, but it was off to work. I washed my hands for a good three minutes upon returning to the office. Thankfully, one of our inspectors got Dunkin Donuts, so things were starting to look up. If this week doesn’t get better, I’m not going to make it.