Status Quo

If possible, I have turned into more of a raging bitch since my post yesterday.  I don’t think I was ever like this through any PMS episodes.  Good Lord.

Oddly enough, I didn’t have any road rage or anything, but the littlest things have been bothering me (mostly people and their dumb comments and stupid actions).

I went to bed a little early last night in hopes of regaining some lost sleep.  WRONG.  Dear husband came to bed and flipped on the TV just as I was falling asleep, which sent me into a rage.  “You realize you aren’t going to be able to have the TV on when baby girl is sleeping in here, right?”   And his responses just fueled the fire.  And then I start thinking about his sister’s wedding, which is on May 24.  I am due May 10.  I didn’t realize that if breastfeeding DOES work out, that I will be needing to feed her every couple of hours, and that you generally don’t introduce a bottle until a few months in (unless you start with formula from the get-go).  And who knows that I would even be able to pump enough that early on to feed her for the whole day.

So I’m laying in bed, FUMING, thinking about how we will probably need to get a hotel room for my mom at the wedding so that I can go back and forth when baby girl needs to be fed, since the wedding is not close to our house, and we are both standing up in the wedding.  UGH.  Also thinking about the rehearsal dinner the night before, and if we should also get a hotel room that night.  I tell Mike my concerns, and he thinks that I am getting worked up over nothing and stressing myself out.   He is probably correct to an extent, but we really DO have to think about how this is all going to go down since we both HAVE to be there.  Thinking about it all just makes me want to cry.  I don’t want any of our first few weeks with baby girl to be made into a stressful situation for no reason.  I want to be able to enjoy every moment we have with her, whether or not she is crying her eyes out or not.

And then I woke up every hour on the hour last night with terrible heartburn.

Baby Girl:  If you are listening, please please please come sooner, rather than later.

I know no one really wishes for labor to come on sooner than predicted, but I am just no good at being pregnant.  It’s turning me into a first class bitch and a Negative Nancy overall.  I’m sure Mike has had enough of it, too, but he treads lightly for some kind reason.  This morning, he said, “You look like you need a hug” – so he gave me a nice hug and I almost burst into tears.  HORMONES!!!!

We also have a family wedding on May 15.  Neither of us are standing up in it, so Mike thinks we’ll still be able to go, no problem.  Hahahahaha!   He kills me.

Here’s to hoping that people are less ass-hat like today.  Until then, I will listen to Jimmy Eat World radio on Pandora, and louder than normal, because I no longer care who I bother.

And more than anything right now, I want a sub from Mr. Submarine.

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Let the Anger Ensue – 33 Weeks & 1 Day

I am in the foulest of moods today.  Not sure why.  Maybe because it’s snowing and it is March 23.  Maybe because I can no longer get decent sleep.  Maybe because everyone sucks.  Maybe because I feel like the size of a house.  Maybe because the pain in my ribs and back has actually, somehow gotten worse. Baths aren’t even helpful anymore. Or maybe it’s just hormones.  I am ready to explode and take everyone with me.

And if I hear the song “All About That Bass” one more time on my co-worker’s computer radio station, I will lose it.  She is an older woman, and someone thought it would be a good idea to introduce her to internet radio.  Even though I am in an office, she is still close enough where I hear “Baby Got Back” and “Blurred Lines” and other random rap songs.  WTF.  Yes, I have Pandora on my own computer, but I play my music at a reasonable volume (thanks, Milton).  So I do that, and try not to piss anyone off, and I still hear this shit music coming from the common area.  So disheartening.

On a lighter note, baby girl only has 7 weeks left to kick me from the inside.  Then, she can start kicking me on the outside and screaming.  She is the size of a cauliflower blossom.  My Ovia app says, “Baby doesn’t have much room to kick anymore, so movements should be less violent (ha!)”  LIES!  I think the movements have been more violent, if anything.

I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday.  I’m curious to see how much she weighs.  I have to remember to ask when my next ultrasound will be so that I can get updated measurements.  I keep wanting to buy little dresses, but I don’t know if she’ll be bigger than newborn size when she pops out (lots of babies skip that size, I guess).

I think I am stressing because time is suddenly moving MUCH faster than I remember.  And we have NOTHING ready aside from clearing a shelf off on our linen closet and dedicating it to diapers and rash cream.  I guess maybe I am getting a little of the nesting thing kicking in.  But it’s just making me more mad because we have NOTHING ready.  Ugh.  And it doesn’t help that we have plans every single weekend leading up to baby girl’s arrival.  I hate that.  All I want to do is sit at home, read my baby books, watch the First Wives Club and other sweet 90s movies while I can, and enjoy the remaining time I have.  But no.

We went to Destination Maternity yesterday to buy me a dress for the baby shower.  I ended up buying two, since Easter is also going to be another event that I forgot about.  I could do without Easter this year (go ahead, hate on me).  I wonder if I will be able to wear heels for both events.  Easter brunch will be a lot of sitting, which is good on my feet, but bad on my back.  Baby shower will be a lot of up and down saying hi to everyone.  Might bring my slippers for when things get too intense!  🙂

Dresses below.  Can’t really tell with the white dress, but it is white and pink striped.

EMPIRE DRESS POLKA DOT

“If You Can Poop, You Can Give Birth”

Caffeine11

32 Weeks & 3 Days – She is the size of a Florida Pomelo (wtf is a Pomelo?) and almost has hands large enough to use my cell phone.  Too bad she won’t get a cell phone until she’s 18!  🙂

But for real.  I am excited, but I think I am entering into the stage of pregnancy where insomnia is prevalent (and heartburn!), and you can’t stop thinking about just how much your life is going to change.  And where you’re going to store all things baby.  And how you’re going to set up the baby’s room.

Of all the blogs I’ve read, most of the first time moms seem so fake to me.  Maybe because there is something wrong with me.  Not that I am at all unhappy about baby girl, but it has been a very trying time for me.  It’s difficult for me to read all the fluffy, “we can’t wait until she gets here, it is in God’s hands now, God is so good, everything is coming up roses, this is the best time of our lives!”  I’ll just chalk it up to the fact that I’m nervous.  I’m sure once she is born, our lives will change, but for the better.

At my last doctor’s appointment, I expressed my concern for my lack of being in shape during this pregnancy.  I told her about how I keep reading about how you have to get your body in shape for labor, and it’s like training for a marathon.  She put my fears at ease.  She laughed and said, “Those ideas are so wrong.  If you can poop, you can give birth!”   She also brought up how women years ago were basically told to have nothing to do with anything that would cause physical exertion.  They have all gotten through it just fine.  So I feel better about the whole process now, I guess.  Until the labor pains start, that is!

Mike and I went on a tour of the maternity ward where I will be delivering baby girl this past weekend.  He was shocked how many people signed up for the tour (there were 25 couples).  One girl was two weeks from her due date and looked exactly like me, in terms of how big her tummy was.  WTF?

Anyhow, it was super informative.  There were two women who explained the process while we all sat in the lobby of the hospital waiting area.  They explained where to go when you first arrive if you are in labor, and they included the insurance form in our little gift bags to fill out ahead of time so that no one is bothering anyone for forms while things are intense and stressful.  They also explained the in-room spa service menu (YES!), and more importantly, which restaurants will deliver to the hospital.  She also explained that they just started making the Amniotic Bank available to their patients, at no charge.  I kept reading about the cord banking and thought it was a great concept, until I saw that they charge thousands of dollars to store this each year, and that doesn’t even mean that what you bank will actually match and be of any help to you down the line with a specific illness.  No thanks!  I will, however, likely donate to the Amniotic Bank.  If it will benefit others and possibly my family in the future and cause no extra pain in the process, I am all for it 🙂  Here is a better explanation of Amniotic Banking:  http://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/should-you-bank-your-babys-amniotic-fluid

The labor and delivery ward was very nice and modern.  You can even see the Chicago Skyline from their fancy visitors’ lounge.  Each labor/ delivery room is quite large with a massive walk-in shower with bench (brand new) in the event that you want to sit under the water while in labor (it’s supposed to help some ladies, from what I’ve heard!).  They also have wireless fetal monitoring, which many hospitals do no have yet –  meaning you aren’t hooked up to a bunch of cords and they can still monitor baby’s heart rate from the nurse station.  The wireless monitor strapped on you is also waterproof, so you can basically sit in the shower until it’s go-time and they can monitor as needed.  SO COOL.  I’d imagine they would never run out of hot water, right?  Hahaha.  Someone also asked about a mirror that was on the ceiling and whether or not if could come down so that you could see the baby’s entrance into the world.  She grabbed a remote and showed up how the mirror could be angled so that you could see baby as she is born.  I turned to Mike and said, “Um, I won’t be using that, and I don’t want you seeing all of that business either”  He seemed to agree.

After we viewed the labor/ delivery suites, we went down to the mother/ baby suites (you stay there at least two days after delivery for monitoring).  We also walked by the nursery, where most people think all of the babies hang out in front of the glass window.  Not the case anymore!  Baby hangs out in your room with you unless you need a break or they are giving baby her first bath (which doesn’t happen for 24 hours after she is born – new thing!)   So I kind of like that.  Especially if you are trying the whole breastfeeding thing.  Baby is always there, and you don’t have to wonder about who is going to go get her for a feeding, etc.  Interesting stuff!

Our birthing class is in April, so stay tuned for that!  Eight hours of fun!  Mike is ecstatic.

I also finally had my first prenatal massage last night.  IT WAS AMAZING.  I was worried that it might not feel that great because I get uncomfortable so easily these days, but it was just wonderful.  My back feels 100 times better today.  Baby girl moved and kicked the whole time, so she must have enjoyed it 🙂  I scheduled another one for week 38, along with a pedicure (gotta keep those toes pretty for D-day), and a bikini wax (gotta keep the pain threshold up!)  🙂

::pause for entertainment purposes::

Breastfeeding Facebook Group Post (I am slowly learning the acronyms…EBF = Exclusively Breastfeeding, DD = Dear Daughter):

“6mo EBF and still going strong! But I have a question. DD’s two front bottom teeth cut through a few weeks ago, and the past 3 days, she has been biting down on my nipple randomly while feeding. She cries when I rip my boob out of her mouth in surprise! Yes, I know I shouldn’t do that, but that’s what happens anyways. So, this afternoon rolls around, and my right breast is completely engorged and I’m feeling rock hard nodules along the side and around the areola. Could her biting have something to do with that? Could it be a clogged duct? She’s been napping for over 2 hours now, and I haven’t been this engorged in months.”

WWMD (What Would Melissa Do):  At this point, I would put a brief stop (at least) to BF.  I don’t know what sounds worse, DD biting down on nipples or complete engorgement.  But yes, I believe these would be signs to point me towards beginning the weaning process and get started on some…wait for it…formula!!!

Eight weeks to go!

Just splurged a little on this fancy little number for baby girl:

polka dot splurge

30 weeks, 3 days – Bébé is Size of a Summer Cantaloupe

10 more weeks left!  I’m sure it will feel like a year.

I had my 30 week appointment yesterday.  I’m happy that every time I go in, they all seem very happy about how baby and I am progressing.  This time, the nurse and doctor both made positive comments about my weight and how I am only carrying in the belly, which will be great for losing the baby weight down the line.  Believe me, that is the LAST thing on my mind right now.  All I can think about is surrounding myself with yummy sandwiches and hot dogs and sushi once baby girl is born.  That’s when I’ll be packing on the real pounds, since the whole morning sickness idea will be a thing of the past!

I have found that sleeping is no longer as easy for me.  I wake up at least six times a night now, having to pee.  I can never get comfortable.  And I get so upset, because if you know me, you know I love my sleep.  The worst part is that I finally start to get comfortable and calm around 5:30 or 6 a.m., which is when hubby wakes up.  So what’s the point?  So disheartening.

I would also like to touch briefly and as generically as possible about being “blocked up” in the digestive system, because it is real, and it is normal to occur in the third trimester.  I feel like my body has stopped working.  Baby girl must be pressing on all of my intestines and messing up how my system works.  Tuesday was the worst day ever.  I actually had to call my brother and ask him to bring over some prune juice because I was doubling over in pain and Mike wouldn’t be home for hours and I thought I might actually pass out from the pain.  Doesn’t get much more embarrassing than that.  Now I’m terrified to eat anything that could potentially block me up.   I know, TMI, but I keep reading about how “normal” all of this is.

I also never had heartburn before in my life.  Now I do!   Another normalcy in the third trimester, evidently.  Picture this:  I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at 6 p.m. for dinner (I didn’t feel like cooking, and Mike was bowling that night).  All good, watching Hindsight on VH1 and lounging around with the dog.  Finally go up to lay down at about 10.   A few minutes after I lay down, I am tasting the peanut butter in my mouth!  SO NASTY.  So now, for the first time in my life, I’ve had to purchase Tums.  I didn’t even know what kind to buy, so I bought like 3 different kinds (they even make them in chews now – kind of like Starburst).  So that has helped a bit, but now I have to stay away from even more foods, and determine if I am eating too close to bedtime.  This shit just keeps getting better!

feeling: It’s physically difficult to get up from chairs/ couches/ bed.  I feel good today though, and it’s probably because the sun is out and I listened to St. Patrick’s Day music on my way into work 🙂  I keep waiting to feel awesome and motivated, but I fear that will never happen before baby girl arrives.

reading: Nothing!  Let’s talk about how unprepared I am going to be for this baby.  I really need to start reading “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” before it’s too late.  My friend kindly lent it to me, and I have not even started on it.  I also need to finish my other book about French parenting techniques.  Please, please, please bring on the motivation!!

buying:  We are going on a hunt for a nice glider chair this weekend.  Mike is shocked at how pricey they are and told me I can sit on the couch downstairs while nursing.  I laughed at him and told him if I had to walk up the creaky stairs after baby girl falls asleep with the dog barking at me to let him out and she wakes up, I would be bringing her into him.  So we are looking at gliders this weekend 🙂  Other than that, I have invested in some baby leggings, because they are freaking adorable:

babys_first_pinkBallerina

sleeping: I get up about six times per night to go to the bathroom, which is always fun.  I’m starting to get used to it.  I even try to monitor my fluid intake before going to sleep, but it doesn’t even matter.

getting used to: Not being able to see my feet, and random people commenting on my belly and how pregnant I look.  I’m not offended anymore, so that’s good.

craving:  plain cheese pizza!  Mike and I went to Pizza Hut for the lunch buffet on a rare occasion when we were both working from home when the roads were too bad to go to work.  I could have sat there for three hours eating their plain cheese pizza while dipping it in ranch.  I have also been on a Cool Ranch Dorito kick as of late.  I know, nothing but healthy stuff for baby girl!  I figure she won’t have any allergies after all the crap I’ve been eating and hopefully won’t have to deal with any of that gluten free/ peanut allergy business that so many parents are having to deal with these days.  I hope she has an appetite like mine, and will eat or try pretty much anything 🙂

pondering:  Giving Young Living Oils a shot.  I know a few consultants, and I really want to order the start kit, but it is so expensive!  I have been researching about how the oils can benefit newborns, etc, so I’d really like to talk Mike into it by the time she is here.  Anything to make our house calm and happy.  The problem is, I am easily sold on certain things that happen to be trending.  Mike thinks this makes me a sucker, because he thinks everything is a pyramid scheme and all the people are out to get money and add to their pyramid scheme.  I’m going to keep trying – and if that doesn’t work, I think I will add it to our baby registry, hahaha.  Either that, or my birthday is coming up, and I could tell him that is what I want (see response from hubby below).

pyramidoils