Well, turns out that no matter how awkwardly I try, I will never become an extrovert. I actually like being an introvert, most of the time. But when you are forced to go to parties alone, or with just one other person who is not going to be with you the entire time, the pressure is on! It’s not that I hate meeting new people, it’s just that it takes me a little longer to process these said people. I feel like I am being entirely fake if we chat as though we have known each other our entire lives. So I am pretty quiet instead, and people assume that I am a bitch and stuck up. If I noticed someone not talking to anyone else, sitting alone, I would NEVER automatically assume that they are acting too good for everyone else. I guess it just comes with the territory.
Even in high school, I pushed myself to get involved in events where I would be forced to be friends with the others on my team. I loved to dance, so I focused all of efforts on trying out for poms my Sophomore year. It was great because I loved what I was doing, so it really didn’t bother me if I wasn’t as popular as the other girls on my squad. A certain confidence comes over you when you are given that poms uniform to wear on game days during school. So maybe that helped a bit. Then my priorities changed, and I realized that I wanted to focus more on what my career would be. I knew that I wanted to be a businesswoman, and that didn’t just happen by being on a poms squad, unfortunately. So, it was on to Business Professionals of America and an internship.
Throughout all of these group changes, I had a group of super close girlfriends that never changed. I was comfortable with them, I trusted them, and we all hung out all of the time. But I still always had this anxiety when I had to go to extended family functions or birthday parties with people I didn’t know.
I guess my fear is, currently, that when we have kids (which will hopefully be very soon), that I will be able to hang with the other parents and not be afraid to ask questions, be on the PTA, and be able to stick up for my kid if other kids are being shitty to them. I want to be Leslie Mann in “This is Forty” when she tells the little bully kid that he looks like a shitty Tom Petty.
Onto another topic. DEHYDRATION. I’m a water hater. I’ve never been a big drinker of water. Everyone else around me seems to love it and can drink gallons upon gallons. Whereas with me, water makes me feel kind of sick when I drink too much of it. And because of that, I am sure that I am quite often dehydrated. When I went to the doctor one day for a normal physical, they decided that they wanted to take some blood. Not cool, but whatever. I sat down, and the blood lady did her thing. After she hooked me up, she was confused as to why the blood was moving so slowly and thought for sure that someone was wrong with her equipment. NOPE! It was because I was so dehydrated! My blood was pumping SO SLOWLY that I would have been there for a few hours to fill up the tiny little tube that they wanted. When she realized this, she asked me to down a glass of water. I did, and it was amazing what it did for my blood pumping skills! So that right there should have made me realize that I really needed to drink more water.
Yeah, so that happened like 3 years ago, and nothing changed, because I suck. I honestly get so busy that I forget I am thirsty. I could go a couple days without drinking something if I am not eating anything dry. Crazy and unhealthy, I know. So, starting a couple days ago, I am back on the water bandwagon. Mainly because we are trying to get pregnant, and I figure when/ if we do, that little baby is going to need to stay hydrated. I need to drink more milk too, but that is for another time…