Wisdom Teeth.

I decided it would be a grand idea to get my wisdom teeth removed on December 15.  We get a week off of work right before Christmas, so I thought this would be the perfect time to do it and recover at home.  The oral surgeon’s office said that most people are good to go a week after the surgery.  

I opted to be knocked out (who wouldn’t?), and the knocking out was successful.  I had laughing gas AND got put under.  I woke up in a fog and they led me to the recovery room.  Speaking of, I don’t understand how so many people don’t remember anything directly after the surgery “I just woke up and I was home” – REALLY?  You don’t remember walking to the car?!  Nice.  What also was nice, was that my kind boyfriend who took a photo of me with gauze in my mouth in the recovery room and then sent it to me a week later.  

I remember us getting to Osco, where I stayed in the car while boyfriend went to get my pain meds.  Time was going by slowly and my jaw was throbbing.  Clearly, they did not load me up correctly with enough drugs to get me through the waiting period for my prescription drugs.  I texted my boyfriend, and finally told him I was going to come in and throw down with the pharmacist.  He came out 10 minutes later, finally.  I was in tears in the car from the pain.  He felt terrible, but there was nothing he could do.  

So, they call my name when the prescription was ready, and the pharmacist says, “I need to talk to you” and takes him to the back area of the pharmacy!  Turns out, my birth control prescription was also there to be picked up, along with the vicodin and the antibiotics for my teeth.  The old pharmacist said, “You need to understand that the birth control will NOT work while she is taking the antibiotics.  Do you understand?”  Ahahahahahaha.  Good times for us all.  

So I take the vicodin I was so excited for.  I had never been on anything powerful like that before, so I really just wanted to zone out for a week while I recovered, and I wanted to feel good while I was zoning out.  That’s all I wanted.  A week of feeling nothing but good.  And sleeping endless hours.  The fun began when I only slightly got up out of bed or even sat up after taking the vicodin…I would immediately vomit.  This went on for 3 days until I told them to give me something else that I could tolerate.  You know what the bitch nurse told me on the phone, while my entire jaw was throbbing up to my ears?  “Take some ibuprofen”   I about lost it.  I wanted to call a drug dealer because I was in so much pain.  

So, I go back to the doctor for my post-op appointment a few days later.  They tell me “oh hey!  you have developed dry sockets – which is why you are in so much pain!  Why didn’t you call us sooner?!”  And I told them that the fool I talked to told me to take fucking ibuprofen.  Hopefully the bitch has since been fired.  

So, they fill the bottom sockets with these dressings which are infused with clove oil.  I thought it was weird, but they agreed to give me Tylenol 3 in addition to putting the dressings in.  SUCCESS!  At this point (1.5 weeks later), I was able to sleep for an entire night and eat something more than yogurt.  Before that, it was an hour here, an hour there, and many MANY tears.  

I had to go back 2 more times for them to replace the dry socket medications, until I finally felt normal again.  I’ve found that dental assistants are the devil.  If they can replace your dry socket meds without the doctor in there, they will.  But the moment you say you want another prescription for the pain, they are completely unhelpful bitches.  Always make sure to ask to see the doctor.

Luckily, I was able to secure two more prescriptions of T3.  I’m pretty sure I’m on some kind of watch list now.  They probably think I have a meth lab going in our basement.  But I do not care.  The amount of pain I was in was insurmountable at the time.  I would never wish that on anyone.  That being said, DO NOT GET YOUR WISDOM TEETH REMOVED UNLESS THEY ARE POSING A THREAT TO YOUR LIFE.  IT IS NOT WORTH THE PAIN.